Secret Love (A Severus Snape Romance)

Chapter 14: I Hate U I Love U

I wake up all scared and sweaty. I just had the worst nightmare ever about my brother. It's been quite long since the last time I had a nightmare... Kind of feels like being with Snape protects me from nightmares. I don't know, it sounds kinda silly.

Anyway, now I'm fully awake again, and I'm crying my eyes out. I miss my brother so so much. He was honestly the sweetest person ever...

I need to stop this. I have to be grateful for the time I had the privilege to know him, I shouldn't think about the bad stuff. God needed another angel, I tell myself.

Sleeping feels impossible right now, so I get out of bed and sneak to the rooftop where I had my first kiss with Snape. I look at the stars again and I feel like one of them is brighter than the others, so I think that one might be my lovely little brother.

"Did you have a nightmare again?"
I hear a familiar, deep and sexy voice behind me.

"Good Lord, Snape, you gave me a freaking heart attack!" I shout.

"I'm sorry. Didn't mean to scare you." He sits down next to me and puts his hands around me.

"What are you doing here?" I ask him.

"Nothing really. I just happened to see you in the corridors so I followed you here." He looks at me intensely. Your eyes look so beautiful when they reflect the light of the stars."

Ahh, he's so hot I can't stop myself! I kiss him aggressively and touch his hair and I kiss his neck... But then I stop.

"You can't do this to me", I say.

"Do what, exactly?" he asks.

"This. Like, earlier today you seemed like you hated me and you refused to kiss me and told me to get a new boyfriend, and now you're following me and making up with me? It doesn't work like that. You can't just go on and off over and over again! You need to make a decision: do you want me or not? And most importantly, do you even truly love me?"

He looks at the sky for a few seconds and then looks me in the eyes."I really love you, I do, but this is hard and complicated and I'm scared we're gonna get caught."

"Whatever", I say, shrugging my shoulders. "I guess I really gotta get a new boyfriend." I stand up and start walking away.

"Wait!" Snape yells after me. "Don't you dare go now!"

I turn around and face him.
"What? Have you got something to say that's worth hearing?"

He touches my hair gently and I gasp. Then he kisses me more passionately than ever before, but I can't let his kiss confuse me, so I push him away.

"Come talk to me again when you're done playing", I say and walk away quickly, back to my dorm. I go to bed and try to sleep again but I can't. I'm not thinking about my dead brother, I'm thinking about Snape. I'm disappointed in him. It's really not fair that sometimes he acts so freaking cold. I mean, that's a just who he is but still it doesn't make it right.