I Need U (Kim Namjoon x Reader)

Chapter 12

Namjoon nodded like a bobblehead while your parents go over the schedule for your medications and rests. They also typed up a few pages of papers detailing the protocols for if you fainted or throws up or has a seizure. For the most part, Namjoon understood and knew what to do from taking care of his mother. But moreover, he felt terrified that he might hurt you in some way. He also felt so somber that you have to experience all these atrocious things.

"Call us if you even sense something is wrong." you father said sternly, it was more like a pleade.

"Of course, sir. I will take care of her."

"Honey, we need to go." Your mother kissed Taehyung's cheeks and dragged your father to the car. Arms crossed, Taehyung once again warned Namjoon to not do anything suspicious. Then he left for school, promising that he would come home right after to kick Namjoon out. Once everyone left, Namjoon sat down and looked at the schedule. It was weaved with names of pills that he could hardly pronounce.

"Good morning." He looked up to see you exiting your room. You were in pajamas and Namjoon had to look away for a second, controlling his thoughts.

"Good morning." he replied. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine. But please don't be like my parents and ask that every 5 seconds." you chuckled.

"I feel like if I don't ask, you won't tell me."

It caught you off guard, you hadn't expected that kind of response. "I promise I'll tell you."

"Good. Now let's get started." Like usual, Namjoon prepared numerous assignments from all the subjects. And like usual, you got through them with ease. The awkward air that normally surrounds the two of you was no longer there. You didn't know what happened exactly but you felt at ease with him around. He was no longer the stranger from that night, not the one that took something from you, but a true friend that you want to remain by your side.

"Now what?" you asked after completing the lesson. A grin appeared on his face.

"We're gonna get out of here." he answered.

"Are we eloping?" you asked casually as a joke. But Namjoon froze and blushed.

"Oh, um," he rambled, too flustered to say anything. He would be lying if he said he hadn't thought about being with you. But it was quite impossible. For one thing, he still believes that you hate him secretly. And another is his family situation, you deserve better.

"I'm joking, of course." you said, snapping him out of his fantasy. "Where are we going?"

"To the park."

Your eyes lit up. "The park?" The window displayed the weather outside. The sun was at its peak but blanketed behind fluffy clouds. The sun's rays wouldn't burn your skin. It was the perfect weather. Namjoon left his seat and came back from the living room with a basket.

"I had to hide this behind your couch so your parents couldn't see it. They would fire me on the spot if they knew I took you outside."

"Then why are you risking it?"

"Because you're smiling so big right now." he answered. Your heart did the thing where it felt like it took a leap and the moths formed. "Go get dressed." he said. Never in your life had you been indecisive about clothes. You would always throw on what was most comfortable or what Taehyung suggests. But now you were on your own and you didn't know what is the appropriate outfit. Remembering how Namjoon had on a white tee and jeans, you decided to wear something similar, capri and blouse.

He waited patiently outside with the basket. The wind blew softly and the leaves on trees danced along to the motion. Sunlight filtered through branches and form a kaleidoscope of shadows on the pavement. His hair looked like silk under the light. He hid a smile when he saw you exiting. The walk to the park was a short and soundless one, aside from birds chirping and cars roaming the streets. Namjoon suggested a seat under a cool shade and laid the blanket down. You watched as he removed food from the basket and prepared them neatly on the ground.

"I'm not the best cook but I tried following my mom's recipe." he said shyly.

"I'm sure it's fine. Thank you for doing this, by the way."

"Of course. Besides, it's not an altruistic suggestion. I've been meaning to come here for a while now."

"So you're just using me?"

"Essentially." he teased. You two ate in silence while watching passersby enjoying the park. And since school was technically still in session, there weren't that many people out. A few families, though, were there to take advantage of the good weather. "Do you miss school?" he asked. You stayed at home while your parents took care of the paperwork for school. At least the boys and Ji Eun came over at one point to see you. When you cried, Ji Eun pinched your cheeks and told you she would come bother you whenever you'd like.

"Not especially. I don't think anyone enjoys going to school purely for learning." You stayed at home while your parents took care of the paperwork for school. At least the boys and Ji Eun came over at one point to see you. When you cried, Ji Eun pinched your cheeks and told you she would come bother you whenever you'd like. "I miss being there for the sake of being a normal person."

"Y/N, you are a normal person." he said.

"You're supposed to say I'm special." you laughed. "Being special was something my parents told me when I was younger to help me cope with the situation. I know I'm not. At school, Taehyung was always the life of the group. He has that energy that was naturally so appealing and attractive. People love him at first sight. I don't think anyone would notice if I wasn't there at school. Ji Eun would, and Taehyung would. But sometimes I think it's out of obligations."

"You're not an obligation. Why can't you see that?"

"If I didn't have this cancer, people wouldn't spend so much time on me or with me and that's just how it is."

"Is that another reason you didn't tell me?"

You nodded. "Partly. The more people that I tell, the more people I'll hurt. And the less I'm able to tell who cares about me for me." The knot in your throat grew tighter as your eyes burned. "I'm always just Taehyng's little sister, no light has ever shone on me."

"Y/N," Namjoon said suddenly. It was in a tone that you weren't used to, commanding and almost mad, similar to that time at the hospital. "Stop putting yourself down. Stop thinking that you're not worth being around because you are. Even if you don't believe in other people, believe in me." He reached over and hold your hand. "I'm here with you not because it's my job, but because I want to. I want to talk to you, to hear you talk, to hear your laugh. You are interesting and it's not because you're Taehyung's sister. You're so much more than that."

"Namjoon..."

"No, let me speak before my courage runs out." he stated. "I enjoy our conversations and your company. And I want you to live. I won't forget you, ever, because I'm in love with you. So please don't give up, for the people you love and for me."

The wind stopped, all moving things stopped in your mind. You blinked. "What did you just say?"

"Don't give up?" he repeated. He knew it wasn't what you were asking about and hadn't realized that he had said it out loud himself. He was hoping you would ignore it. But something like that was unforgettable.

"Namjoon."

He exhaled and looked at the grass for awhile. He was too afraid to look at you. "Alright, I admit it. Y/N, I'm in love with you."