Promises Not Kept

20

Tommy remembered the morning after he returned to Small Heath from France. He was home but he merely felt like a ghost of himself. Everything he once knew felt strange and unlike he remembered it. He wasn't the man he was when he left for the front lines. There was a brief memory of hearing Arthur and John downstairs, talking animatedly to Finn who was just a boy back then. Tommy stared out the window down to Watery Lane. The street he used to run up and down when he was Finn's age. Now, he was back. A soldier bruised and damaged far deeper than just his skin. But he wasn't done. The war hadn't killed him so he wasn't finished. The world would know the Shelby name whether it liked it or not.

            The morning of John's funeral, Tommy stood at the same window looking down at the same street. People were starting to remember the Shelby name. But the cost had been more severe than Tommy initially anticipated. There was no turning back though. He was in too deep.

            With a sigh, Tommy stepped into the steaming bath in the middle of the bedroom. Charlie and Leah were still asleep. The little boy was completely unaware of what was happening around him.

            Leah began to stir as Tommy lit a cigarette. She sat up and carefully detached herself from Charlie who was clinging to her in his sleep. It had been a long night. Most of the family was in a shock, unlike anything they'd experienced before. It seemed unfathomable to think John would ever die. He was such a robust figure of the family. Now the previously shattered family was further broken.

            But at least they were all together for the first time in ages.

            "Tom." Leah sat up and tried to read his face. His eyes were glazed over, mind obviously elsewhere.

            His head twitched slightly in her direction, the only acknowledgment that he'd actually heard her.

            Leah sighed softly and stood. She picked up her dressing gown and wrapped it around herself. "How are you feeling today?" She pulled up a small stool up to the bathtub.

            Tommy rested his hand on the edge of the tub, his cigarette hanging between his fingers. He stared at the wall in front of him. "I don't know." He finally admitted quietly.

            Leah's forehead wrinkled. "I'm sorry." She whispered and touched his arm, catching on some of the lingering water droplets from the bath water. "I've been awful to you for the past few weeks."

            He shook his head subtly. "No. I haven't been treating you the way you deserve." Guilt pooled in his stomach, building up with all the rest of it he'd felt for everything he'd done. "I can't promise it'll all be easy from here on out." 

            "I know." She absent-mindedly rubbed her thumb over his arm.

            There was a knock on the door. "Tommy, they've gathered."

            Leah grabbed the towel Tommy had set out for himself. She offered a hand to him as he stood up. "We should let Charlie sleep." She suggested quietly.

            He nodded and stepped out of the bathtub, drying off with the towel. They both began to get dressed, staying quiet so Charlie didn't wake.

            "My family's downstairs." He explained. "I want you to be there with me."

            Leah took his outstretched hand. "Okay."

~~~~~~~~~~

            Tommy only let go of Leah's hand so she could stand near Isaiah and Jeremiah. But he stopped her and pulled out a chair for her. Leah paused and looked at him questioningly. Sitting at the table was obviously a status she didn't think she'd earned yet. Not even Finn was seated.