Promises Not Kept

50

//50 chapters and 100k words! Woohoo! To everyone who's wondering what I'm going to do moving forward...I'm not too certain yet. We'll see.

            It took nearly the rest of the night to calm Tommy down. Some points in the night he wouldn't let Leah near him, other moments he would panic if she so much as moved an inch from him.

Five in the morning and Leah was still awake. Tommy had become so exhausted from hyperventilating and grinding his teeth that he'd knocked himself out cold. But she couldn't imagine getting any sleep in. Not after the night she just had. She'd thought she'd seen Tommy at his lowest before but it appeared she was wrong. Never had she seen him so anxious and riled up. For a moment, Leah wondered if he would ever calm down or if he'd have a heart attack from getting so worked up. But finally, around four-thirty in the morning, Tommy's gasping breaths slowed and he slumped back in the bed. His grip on her went slack and soon enough he was asleep.

Leah was startled by the quiet. She tried to compose herself, gently rubbing Tommy's back as he slept deeply. It was a gift when she heard Molly start to fuss in the nursery.

While nursing Molly, Leah came to a conclusion. She needed to be needed. Growing up in a loving family, she always felt like she was the apple of her parents' eye. When she met Jonah, he opened her eyes to a romantic relationship. Tommy, well, as much of a difficult person he was, she wanted nothing more but to help him. Parenting was such a gift to her. She adored being the person her children could turn to when they needed something. There was nothing she loved more than having Charlie and Johanna cuddle up with her. It made her feel complete.

The issue with Tommy was his inability to be helped. Fiercely independent, he always wanted to take things on himself and handle everything. He needed Leah for affection but that's where her job ended. She wanted to be there to support him, to comfort him, to help brainstorm solutions to his problems. She learned from Jonah that marriage wasn't just something intimate. It was a partnership. But Tommy had a hard time passing along the reins. He would much rather take everything on until it physically crushed him.

Leah stayed up with Molly for another hour. Six in the morning and she went downstairs to start making breakfast for the children. It was Monday even though it just felt like an extension of the day before.

Six-thirty and Johanna woke up without fail. She came bounding downstairs and excitedly told her mother about her dream. Leah listened with a smile and put her at the breakfast nook, a plate in front of her.

Seven in the morning and she went back upstairs to wake Charlie. She made sure his school clothes were laid out and went to check on Molly.

Seven-fifteen. Charlie came downstairs and Johanna went upstairs with Leah to get dressed. Molly woke up and Leah bounced her on her hip as she coached Johanna through fixing the buckles on her shoes.

Seven-thirty and Charlie was reminding them of the time. Leah went back downstairs and checked with Charlie that he'd fed Cyril. He confirmed. Johanna pulled her coat off the rack but it ended up toppling over, nearly missing her. Leah handed Molly to Charlie and went to her daughter's aid. She cleaned up the mess and wiped Johanna's tears.

Seven-forty and they were running a bit behind. The mess was cleaned and Johanna was back to her bubbly self. Both children were bundled up and Leah was pulling out the pram to take Molly.

That's when Tommy came downstairs. All evidence of the night before had been hidden away, aside from subtle tells. Dark shadows under his eyes, the whites of his eyes slightly red, and he yawned a few times.