the mysterious fangurl(izaya x reader x shizuo)

Don't feel that way

disclaimer: durarara!! does not belong to me. i am just your average fangurl who makes fanfictions

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Your POV:

I'm currently reflecting on my actions for the future.

I was currently outside the cafe, crouched down in shame as I hid behind the big fancy sign placed at the entrance that showcased the specials of the shop for the day.

"Haahh—what am I going to do..."

I cupped my cheeks roughly in my hands, my eyes staring off blankly into the air. Though I could feel the blatant looks that were shot my way and the overtly expressed mutters that obviously regarded me as the subject, I was too tired to allow the awkward circumstances to shift me away from my position.

Maybe dealing with Izaya-Kun all the time just made me numb to feeling embarrassed.

That's really not a good thing.

Leaning my head back against the cardboard sign gently I let out an exhausted sigh, furrowing my eyebrows hardly.

It's unbelievable I couldn't even do that, I'm a little ashamed.

After all that big talk too...I'll bet everything that he's laughing at me inside.

*flashback*

"Izaya-Kun,"

"Hmm?"

"Say 'ahh'?"

*flashback end*

"Arghhh—stupid (y/n)! All that impulsiveness is gonna kill you one day!"

I only realised I had verbally voiced our my thoughts when the amount of unwanted attention and repulsed looks increased. Though I still wasn't that embarrassed, I understood the social cue and hastened to subdue my vocals.

Just what am I doing?

Don't forget about Kida-Kun.

That's right, Kida-Kun.

I shouldn't even be thinking about this, I should be trying to help Kida-Kun.

'(Y/n)-Chan, you shouldn't stay too close to him.'

He warned me, he was right.

Izaya-Kun's someone who takes pleasure in messing with others, even if it means hurting them. He did that to Kida-Kun.

It's the same with me.

I'm nothing special, I'm just his toy for now.

'You see, I've taken quite a liking to you.'

He's just trying to confuse me, to get more enjoyable reactions.

Once he gets tired of me, who knows what he'll do?

I didn't want to acknowledge it, I refused to accept its inconsiderate presence.

I wanted to deny it's irrefutable existence.

That worthlessly subtle ache in my chest.

It hurts.

I don't want to admit it hurts.

"Oh no..."

I could feel stinging in my eyes, breaking out of my daze when I felt the wetness touch the tips of my fingers. I rubbed my eyes carelessly, brushing the wandering strands of unruly hair out of my face at the same time.

I'm such a mess.

What am I crying for? This is stupid.

You're stupid (y/n). You're stupid for letting yourself feel like this

"Excuse me, can you move, I want to see the menu."

I instantly felt relief wash over my self as I heard that familiar sound call out. Instinctively I straightened my back, lifting my head off its support to identify the source, unconsciously hoping for that specific outcome.

"Hmm, (y/n)? What are you doing here?"

I was right.

"Shizu-Chan..."