the mysterious fangurl(izaya x reader x shizuo)

Don't cry in front of Shizuo

disclaimer: durarara!! does not belong to me. i am just your average fangurl who makes fanfictions

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Your POV:

I trudged alongside Shizu-chan at a moderate pace, the soles of my shoes grazed against the street grounds audibly. He was ahead of me just a few inches, strolling comfortably with a hand loosely tucked into his pocket.

I never really payed attention until now, but I just realized how calm and relaxed his way of walking is. If I were a stranger who saw him around, I'd never guessed he was someone that had the ability to throw a vending machine, and actually do it. He looks so gentle and composed when he's quiet.

But then again, I'm not that close to him am I? No, maybe I'm the farthest thing from that to him.

I may have potentially invaded his privacy in the past, and who knows, I was probably a sick weirdo who stalked him, fantasizing about being his best friend or lover, even I scare myself at what I could have possibly been.

But, that's got nothing to do with him right?

I grimaced, luckily Shizu-chan was in front of me and hadn't noticed the brief twisted contorts of my features.

That stung more than I thought it would. Since it was so true.

Though I hadn't moved my eyes from his broad frame, and neither of us had changed the speed of our movements, somehow, he seemed further away then before.

Why did the distance between us seem greater than before? I couldn't tell anymore, I must be imagining things.

In the end, he's just being nice to me since he feels guilty about what he did. That's why he said all those kind things, that's why he helped me.

There's nothing more to it, and nothing less.

Doesn't the same go for everyone else I've met so far too?

Including Izaya-kun as well of course.

My heart throbbed, making a strange sensation run through my chest.

Shut up.

I already knew all of this--maybe I just didn't want to face such truth, but I myself knew better than anyone else.

In Ikebukuro, this peculiar city that I currently reside in, I already know I don't belong.

I know more than anyone, how much it hurts.

That's why, it's okay.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Huh?"

This is the second time I've cried today, but this time the tears can't seem to stop.

"O-oi (y/n), what happened? Why are you crying?"

"Uhh--I-I'm sorry, I, uh--"

The strange sensation was turning into a prominent tingling ache.