Working Through the Rest

Disappear

Scorpius is awake when I get back early the next morning. He offers me a small, weak smile when I sit down, which I return gratefully. His hand isn't shaking, but he hasn't touched the food on the table beside him.
"How are you feeling?" I ask slowly.
"Like hell."
"Do you want to eat something?"

He shakes his head, looking up at the ceiling and wincing slightly. I imagine that his ribs are still reasonably painful.
"Scorpius," I say quietly. "Are you...are you okay?"
"Apart from the fact that breathing hurts?"
"In general. Are you okay?"
"I'm fine," Scorpius frowns at me. "Why?"
"You..." I trail off.
"I fell," Scorpius says firmly. "I put my foot on the wrong branch and I slipped."
"You were completely sure of yourself," I try not to be accusative. "You were calculating every single movement."
"I made a mistake."
"In the one moment I looked away?"
"A badly-timed mistake."
"Scorpius..."
"What?" Scorpius almost snaps and I pull myself back. "What would you like me to say?"
"I don't know," I admit quietly.
"Then let's not talk about it now," Scorpius turns away from me.

I bite my lip as his hand starts to shake. It's small at first, but he's scared of it, judging by the fact that he's starting to clench it into a fist. Despite myself, I reach out and take it gently, trying not to agitate him more.
"When did dad leave?" Scorpius doesn't take his hand back.
"A couple of hours after you fell asleep," I am about to ask something else, but I stop. "He was really scared."
"He didn't say that."
"He asked me something," I mumble.
"What?"
I take a deep breath, trying to blink back tears. "He asked me if you jumped."

Scorpius eyes start to swim with tears and he lets go of my hand. I don't say anything, watching him pick up the water on the bedside table. The silence is heavy and uncomfortable, but I don't break it. This is Scorpius' call to make. I'll wait for him.
"I keep hearing things," Scorpius' voice is almost inaudible. "In my head."
"Oh," I don't know how to respond.
"I keep trying," Scorpius croaks. "I keep trying to get rid of her, but I can't. She keeps getting inside my head and I...I can't..."

He takes my hand again, clinging to it tightly. I crouch beside the bed, pulling him into the gentlest hug that I can manage. He falls into me weakly, starting to cry.
"I'm scared, Albus," he whispers. "I'm so scared. All the time."
"It's all right," I murmur. "It's all right. I'm here."

He pulls away suddenly, eyeing me nervously. I can see his mind working, made ever faster by the fear.
"Dad..."
"I am not going to tell him anything," I promise. "He asked me if I would. I told him that he would not hear anything from me because it's your decision as to what he knows."

Scorpius nods slowly and I smile at him. He leans towards me again, laying his head on my shoulder.
"I'm sorry," he mumbles. "I'm sorry I thought it would stop it. I thought it would be easier. I..."
"No," I say firmly. "No, Scorpius. I'm sorry. I should have done more for you. I shouldn't have assumed you were okay. And I won't from here on out. I will make sure."
"Thank you," Scorpius whispers.

Behind me, the Hospital Wing door opens and Scorpius pulls away from me sharply, grimacing in pain. I smile gently at him and he returns it, something which I am eternally grateful for.
"Please don't hug me when we're not alone," Scorpius mumbles. "I don't..."
"Okay," I nod. "That's fine."
"Thank you," Scorpius says again.

He looks down and I turn around to see who is behind me. Rose is walking towards us, holding something wrapped in napkins. She smiles awkwardly.
"I didn't see you at breakfast, Albus," she says, "so I brought you some bread."
"Thanks."

I take it and unwrap it slowly, offering some to Scorpius. He doesn't take any so I take a slice and put it on his bedside table. After eating nothing last night, I am now starving, but I had wanted to see Scorpius first. Rose probably knows that. It's probably why she came.

It's going to be okay. If I promise myself that, it might eventually become the truth.