Working Through the Rest

Mind Made Up

A few days later, we're sat at the breakfast table, and I'm actually eating some food. Not a lot of food, but some food. I am aware that I have now lost weight to the point where it is dangerous. And now I'm have to try to heal myself again. With yet another promise that it's going to be okay.
"I'm going to find some water," I say quietly to Scorpius, standing up.

He nods as I walk down the table, looking for a jug. When I find one, I pick it up, pour a little into my glass before walking back to Scorpius. He's now holding a copy of the Daily Prophet, staring forward blankly. His hands are shaking. I sit down quickly, putting my hand on his.
"Hey. Scorpius. What's wrong?"
"She's a monster," he says quietly, angrier than I think I've ever heard him. "She is a monster. And I don't pity her."
"Okay," I nod. "Okay. That's okay–"
"Read it."

He shoves the newspaper towards me and I take it, looking at it nervously. Delphi's photo dominates the front page, her dead-eyed stare piercing me. I cover the photo with my hand, looking to the headline.

My stomach drops past the floor and I feel my heart starting to race. I need to read the article but I can barely concentrate on anything other than fear, so I end up skimming it, picking up only on the details I need. We're screwed. We're so screwed.

Because Delphi has broken out of Azkaban. And she had help.

I look back at Scorpius, who looks a slight bit calmer, and I put the paper down slowly, reaching for my water.
"It won't last," Scorpius mumbles desperately. "She'll be back in Azkaban by tonight and it will all be fine."
"Yeah," I nod. "Yeah. Probably."

*

Delphi has not been found by the end of the day and, with every morning, more and more incredulous rumours form around everything from her whereabouts to her motive. Now, I'm no expert, but I'm fairly confident that I know what her motive is. Which I why I haven't left the school building for four days.

No one else seems concerned that a murderer, an insane murderer, has broken out of prison and is at large. Maybe it's because she didn't hurt them. Didn't manipulate them to the point where they relied almost solely upon her, before tearing their lives apart.

So, really, it's not a surprise that no one cares. No one apart from Scorpius and I got hurt. And Craig.

Scorpius is coping with the news in the same way that he copes with everything. He's working and learning and generally distracting himself to the point where he never stops moving. It scares me.

However, I don't stop him. I know how scared he is and, if I'm being honest, I wish there was something I could do to distract myself from thinking about her. I can't distract myself. I can't think about anything else.

During November, my schoolwork begins to slip. Scorpius ignores all my teachers' instructions and comes with me when I get detention for missing about a week's worth of homework. They tell him to leave. He points out why I'm falling behind. They ignore him. He point it out more aggressively, something that shocks me.

They don't give me detentions after that.

Scorpius doesn't change his mind about Delphi. He remains convinced that she is an unpitiable monster, and I lose more pity for her with every passing day. Scorpius, however, does not stop living in the way that I do. He still goes to Quidditch, and he doesn't mind that I don't come.

The day after our conversation with Delphi, I asked him if it would be okay if I stopped coming. I started trying to explain and he interrupted me, saying that it was okay, that he understood. And he does. He always does.

So, when he leaves to go down to the Quidditch Pitch, I go to the Library and try to get some work done. Most of the time, I just end up returning to the mess of feelings in my mind. And I have no idea what is going on.