Working Through the Rest

Little Things That Matter

Scorpius and I head down to the Great Hall and I scan the room, looking for Tom. He's sat with his friends on the Ravenclaw table and he looks up as we approach. Scorpius hangs back slightly as I smile and say hello.
"How are you doing?" Tom asks.
"Decently," I nod. "Yeah. I'm okay. You?"
"Same as always," Tom shrugs. "You guys look a bit lost; are you okay?"
"We – oh yeah, Tom. You haven't really met Scorpius," I turn to him. "Scorpius, this is Tom. Tom helped me work out – a load of mess in my head."
"It's nice to meet you properly," Tom smiles at Scorpius. "Are you okay?"
"Could we go somewhere more private?" Scorpius mumbles.
"Of course," Tom starts to stand up, pulling his bag onto his shoulder and turning to his friends. "I'll see you guys later?"

There is a general murmuring of agreement from them, and we walk out the hall, pulling closed the door of the first empty classroom we find. I dump my bag on the desk, smiling at Scorpius, and he smiles back nervously.
"It's okay," I murmur. "You know it's going to be okay."
"Yeah," Scorpius nods.
"You guys all right?"
"We were wondering," I start, "about – well, Scorpius, you'd probably explain it better."
"What does – romance – feel like?"
"Romance?"
"Yeah."
"Well," Tom starts slowly. "I'm not really sure how to describe it. It's like – I guess – you know that the person is – more important than anything. But it's a particular feeling. But I don't really know. I guess it's a bit like electricity. I think. I'm not sure how to describe it. It's like – I guess it's a gut feeling. I don't really know what to say other than that. I'm sorry."

Scorpius' shoulders slump and he nods, looking at the floor. There's a moment of silence, and then Tom starts to speak again.
"If you're okay with talking to someone else," he says, "my friend could probably help. They're better at this sort of stuff."
"Okay," Scorpius nods slowly.
"I'll be back in a moment," Tom smiles.

We watch as he leaves and then I look at Scorpius. He meets my gaze and I reach out to take his hand. He doesn't take mine, instead wrapping his arms around me tightly and pulling me into a hug. His breathing is unsteady and I rub circles on his back.
"It's okay," I murmur.
"Yeah," Scorpius mumbles. "Yeah, it's going to be okay."

Tom comes back a couple of minutes later, accompanied by someone I don't know. They smile at us as Tom shuts the door again, and then both of them come over to us.
"Hi," they say.
"Hi," I smile back.
"Albus, Scorpius, this is Nat," Tom says. "Nat, Albus and Scorpius."
"Nice to meet you," Nat says. "Tom says you guys were unsure about something."
"Yeah," I nod. "Scorp, do you want to say or do you want me to?"
"I'll – I'll explain," he mumbles.

He takes a breath, sinking onto one of the desks. I smile reassuringly at him, nodding that it's okay. It is okay. This is okay.
"I think that there's something wrong with me," Scorpius mutters, staring at the floor.
"Okay," Nat says slowly.
"I care about Albus," Scorpius continues to speak quietly, "more than I think I would care about another friend. But it doesn't feel – I don't know what – I just – I think I know it isn't romance. But I don't know whether I'm just ignorant or it actually isn't or it is and I don't know what I'm talking about. Sorry."
"No, it's fine," Nat says softly. "There's nothing wrong with you."
"I don't understand any of it."
"Here," Nat pulls a stack of cars from their pockets and goes to set it beside Scorpius. "Do you want to borrow these? They could probably give you a more coherent explanation."
"There's an explanation?"
"Of course there is," Nat says. "There's an explanation for everything if you look hard enough."
"I guess."
"Look, Scorpius, the most basic way to say this is that there are people who don't experience romantic attraction. There are people who don't experience sexual attraction. There are people who are on spectrums. And all of them are completely valid."

Scorpius nods.

"I'm not brilliant at explanations on all the terminology and stuff. Do you want to borrow the cards I made? It's easier than me trying to explain to every single person who asks about my gender and sexuality. People are so very nosy, aren't they?"
"Yes," Scorpius takes them slowly. "Thank you."
"You're very welcome."