Seven- Billy Hargrove Fan fiction

Chapter Sixteen: Will You Love This Part of Me?

A/N: Here is a song (Cuco- Lover is a Day) that I think perfectly fits how Billy feels about Nicole. This chapter is a little short, sorry. Also "IDFC" by Blackbear is a good interpretation of how Billy feels for Nicole. If you want songs for Nicole's feelings then I'd suggest "Fools" by Troye Sivan or "Señorita" obviously by Shawn Mendez and Camilla Cabello.

Also it's told by Billy's point of view.

Nicole drove me insane. I don't know what it was about her but she was just perfect. I thought if I finally slept with her, all my obsessions would just go away.

But it didn't. I just craved more of her. Every inch of her skin, every word she spoke... I just wanted all of it.

I'm not used to this feeling at all. I've never chased after a girl before, they're going after me instead.

Shut up Billy. She's too good for you. I need to stop being selfish for once. But why should I? I'm Billy Hargrove and I own the world.

But why does she have such a hold over me? Maybe what I told her in the car was true.

No. No it couldn't be. I am Billy Hargrove and Billy Hargrove doesn't fall in love.

But for her... Billy Hargrove can do anything.

Oh my god why can't I just make up my mind. Do I want her or not? Well I do want her there's no question about that.

Okay so why was it so hard to admit it? Maybe it's because she's just so perfect and sweet and I'm an asshole who doesn't deserve her and her love.

I've done bad shit. I'm a bad person. I'm the bad guy, and she's the sweet princess of the fairytale.

Besides, if I did love her, which I don't.... there's no way it would be mutual. She couldn't love me. Could she?

Every time I think I'm falling, I have to do something terrible so that I know for a fact she won't love that part of me.

But sometimes, I feel like she does love me no matter what crazy shit I do.

I can't just leave her, but I can't get too close. Every day I have to distance myself. Sometimes I cross that line, but I can't help it. She's like a magnet.

I want to admit my feelings for her... technically I already have.. but she doesn't believe them.

I'm so stupid. I'm the one who made her not believe them in the first place. Maybe it's better to just distance myself.

I heard she was planning on getting together with Steve. At least she'll be happy now. I don't want to screw that up.

Her presence just lifts me away from hell. I don't know what I would do if I lost her again. She keeps me from going crazy... but she makes me crazy.

She can see right through me sometimes, but she still hasn't seen my lowest point. She doesn't know everything inside my head and how I feel about her. My stupid heart is filling my mind with thoughts.

Will you love this part of me?