Cant I have a day of rest?
A day to draw or write?
Without worrying incessantly about everything
Like... please?
Or maybe not attack me out of nowhere
While I'm at work?
Making me shake uncontrollably
And fear the worst
I cant handle you most times
But at work
I'm forced to hide you
Because you're too much
No one there understands
Why you hang around
And bully me profusely
But only in secret
They cant see you
And they dont really know
That you exist
And play a big role in my life
I hate to admit it
But it seems you're the one
Holding the reigns
To my life
And you wont let me take over
You deny me any peace
And I just hope
You dont act out in public
I let you have your way most times
But I'm tired of your treatment
I wish youd be nicer
Or give me a break
Stop bringing depression over
And having a party
In my fucking head
Making it so I cant breathe
I cant sleep
I dont eat
I barely smile
I'm in pain
But you both seem to laugh
And enjoy the torture
Have you no mercy?
Or no heart?
Oh wait you have mine...
Which I gave involuntarily
Hoping it was enough
To appease you
I hoped it would let me rest
And give me a little peace
But it's done nothing
But allow you to cause misery
These tears shed
Are only because
I've lost control
And you dont care
You stand there and smile
Telling me
It's my fault
So I shouldnt cry
What if someone sees?
What if its cause you're not enough?
What if, it's because you see your worthlessness?
Or? Or? What if its cause, you've given up?
Because I guess I have
I guess I am
And you're okay with that
And just like that Anxiety strikes again...
