What it says on the tin.
Some ranting, some advice, some archaic reference, and a lot of cussing. My take on how I think fanfiction should be written and some of the biggest problems with it right now. Because I may not be the best at writing, but...
It seems like the minute someone even MENTIONS sex scenes, everyone goes absolutely apeshit around here and honestly I'm a little lost. So I wrote a nice guide for when and how to include a sex scene in fanfiction. Yes, this is scientifically based, fuck off and eat my ass, Newton.
Does this story need a sex scene to further the plot or create character/relationship development?
If the answer is no, stop writing your damned sex scene and just fade to black. We all got imaginations, we can assume what happened.
Does a sex scene make sense for the tone of the rest of this fanfiction?
Listen, if yall out here writing a fluffy and romantic rom-com ass fic, and suddenly BAM the vagangles and the dangles are being whipped out, I'm gonna get whiplash so hard I'll be a certified Iron Man villain.
Can you properly write an actual sex scene?
I feel like this is question number one and yet it's the last question people ask after already deciding to write the sex scene.
Do you know how sex actually works?
No, you don't get to say yes to this just because your cousin Consuelo sent you a porno as a prank and you watched it out of curiosity.
Is my target audience mature enough for a sex scene?
Look, nobody's out here age-gating Wattpad, but if you know your demographic and still feel fine writing it for them, then honestly you do you.
But seriously, do you actually know anything about sex?
Y'all, as someone who studies sexuality and sexual interactions and knows far too much about how penises work for a lesbian, I'm so fucking concerned by all yalls idea of what sex is even trying to be.
Listen. I'm not about to tell you how to write a good sex scene. I'd need an entirely new book for that, and a powerpoint on human anatomy. The point is, stop overthinking it. You probably don't need that sex scene. And if you do, it is very fucking easy to imply what they gonna do and fade to black.
And lord I swear to FUCK if you end a chapter with a "and the rest went down in history ;)" I will smack you upside the head with my anatomy powerpoint because it's cheesy and pointless and I will want to eat my phone out of spite from reading it. Just end the scene with a cheeky line of dialogue and be done with it. Stop digging your grave, lord.
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