How To Write Marvel Fanfiction

"There's a pink one and a green one, and a blue one and a yellow one"

And they're all made out of ticky tacky and they all look just the same.

So here's the thing about diversity. It fucking exists. I don't care where the fuck you're from or what tiny ass back town bayou you crawled out of, people were not carbon copies of each other. And if they were, I'm concerned for you and you should probably write a memoir. 

You think there weren't any gay people in your town? DID YOU CHECK THE CLOSET, KAREN?

Look, I get it. You grew up sheltered. We were all there. But when you're writing, you're not home anymore and this isn't your experience. 

However, and that said, if 👏 you 👏 don't 👏 know 👏 how 👏 to 👏 write 👏 diversity 👏 then 👏 don't 👏 write 👏 it 👏

👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏 clap clap clap bitch

You know what's worse than fanfiction genres that are entirely about the white straight neurotypical abled girl? Very badly written queer fanfiction that an author wrote just because they thought they had to fill a quota.

As a lesbian, y'all ain't slick. You don't know how to write queer romances or black leads and it shows. If you can't write it, then don't? I don't know what's so hard. 

There are nuances and rules and culture that come with writing a minority OC. If you don't have the range, then you just don't have the range.

"But-but it's just like writing a straight white cis person! I don't see colour and love is love uwu!"

Yeah, no. Let's take off our rose-coloured glasses and talk about this for a hot second. 

Society treats people differently when they're not the "norm". These people are a part of an entire different culture you're probably not aware of but you think you are because you went to Pride once. 

If you're white, you've never known the fear of being pulled over by a white police officer. If you're straight, you've never known the pain of coming out to unreceptive parents. If you're able-bodied, you've never known the exhaustion of trying to make doctors believe you. 

Diversity is great. Forced diversity is not and it fucking shows.

Writing a minority character isn't about having the entire fanfic revolve around their struggles of being that minority. It's about understanding how to weave those struggles into the story because for a minority, those struggles are everyday life.

When you're writing a gay romance, it's fucking weird and a little gross when you call it a "boyxboy" or a "girlxgirl" romance. It's fucking gross. You don't call a straight romance "girlxboy", or at all infantilize your main characters by calling them "boys" and "girls" do you? It is just a gay romance story. Or lesbian. Stop with the weird tags.

And for fuck's sake, if you can't write AAVE, don't 👏 write 👏 AAVE. 

AAVE is short for African-American Vernacular English. Commonly, it's known as "ghetto" or "black urban" slang. It is an entire dialect from GAE (General American English) that's commonly spoken and known as just "English" to most of you motherfuckers. English has different dialects and styles, that can have their own grammar rules. If you think you can write the way black people speak and don't know a thing about their dialect other than "slang" and "swear words", stop. It's mildly racist and really weird.

Also, if you can't properly use the term PoC, you're not allowed to write a black main character. I'm deadass serious, it's like yall don't even understand what the acronym stands for. If you used the term 'PoC' and your sentence sounds really fucking weird and incomprehensible with is said out as "People of Colour" then you're doing it wrong. It is inherently both plural and singular, it is all-encompassing of every non-white race, and it's just a term and stop being weird about it I'm tired.

This same logic continues to apply to any other minority. I see a lot of deaf or mute OCs, written by people who have no FUCKING clue what being deaf or mute actually feels like. I'm severely deaf. Did you know that reading lips isn't a fucking thing? Because it isn't! It's a myth and 9/10, if someone CAN read lips, they're batting at a 50% accuracy rate of knowing what's said, as well as taking 10 to 20 seconds to figure out what they just said with context clues and brainpower. It's like a puzzle, but you're missing half the pieces and the other half is all bent and warped. 

Look, as a lesbian, it's fucking tiring to see what looks like a good premise for a fanfiction fall apart because y'all are a mess at that shit. Do you think lesbians are just extreme horndogs or something? Like, the main character sets her eyes on the love interest, and suddenly her underwear is a slip 'n slide. 

"Jane saw the Black Widow for the first time up close and nearly dropped her coffee. Natasha's red curls were perfect and beautiful, her face was like porcelain with the most stunning green eyes and kissable lips. Her figure was an hourglass and Jane just couldn't stop staring. She was practically already in love."

Stop that, and hit yourself on the hand with a ruler because this is the internet and I can't.

Gays don't just... fall in love the second they see a pretty person. It's weird and fetishizing with the gratuitous sexualizing gazes and interactions. Like, do you realize the homosexuals are indeed, human beings? We're not just the plot to a bad 80s porno. 

And furthermore, when you're gay, you can't just have that dramatic first kiss with the love interest. What if she's not gay? What if she's not gay for you? You don't fucking know. Neither of you know. Unless the OC already knows their love interest is LGBTQ+ and vice versa, you can't have your dramatic ass kiss in the rain after a rescue, it's weird. Gaydars aren't shit and they don't work on people you have a crush on. 

The TLDR here is, if you don't know how to write it, don't fucking write it! Stop junking up queer and black fanfiction with your really crappy attempts at it. 

And like, get some more diverse friends while you're at it. Y'all need to branch the fuck out. 

Sincerely, a disabled and disgruntled lesbian