s o n d e r ☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙

t a u t o l o g y

t a u t o l o g y
/tôˈtäləjē/
noun
a useless restatement, or saying the same thing twice using different words

she's got a hole in her heart
but she used to feel whole in her heart

she had every song to hear
even if she isn't here

i know that she's in the atmosphere
floating around me in my memory
as i
rest my case

i know it's okay
because someday
her and i
will be the same

she was
and i am
but
the girl in my mind will come back to life

i do chest compressions on myself
wondering how i would be
or who i'd be
without anyone else

i'd rather waste time sitting next to her
that anyone who lacks interest
that isn't enough

nothing felt right
so i wanted to write my wrongs
but i can only seem to fall in love
while listening to love songs

my heart was whole
and now
the passion in me
grows

it swells in joy and despair at the same time
i'm happy, but i'm crying
i'm living, but i'm dying

i lay in wonder
maybe i imagine too much
referring to myself as she
as if there will ever be
a she to rhyme about again
i'm sure there won't be

so she is me
i did chest compressions on myself
so i could breathe

live another life in a world that doesn't understand
i do
but that means little to
the world

pain is growing
aches are moaning in my mind
begging to leave behind those words like bruises, cuts, and knives

i'd rather cry forever
than shed a tear together

i'm sure this isn't poetic poetry
or wordy words
no loving love
or dovey doves

just plain old me
that nobody wants to understand
but can't seem to leave

if you're all so tired of me
then go to sleep