s o n d e r ☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙

b o u n d a r y

bound·a·ry
/ˈbound(ə)rē/

noun: boundary; plural noun: boundaries
a line that marks the limits of an area; a dividing line.
"the eastern boundary of the wilderness"

if you're listening
i would like you to know
i wrote this for you, and you only

when i think of you
there's an emptiness
a pit
emotions too deep
a trauma too fragile
to touch
or feel
or understand

the thought of losing you
forever in a blink
doesn't sound so crazy
because rather or not i lost you, you've already lost me
i lost me
the bad parts
the girl you kissed
and promised
to marry
the girl you
said
would carry
your children

she's gone with your kiss

i realize humans are too unpredictable
so i
adjusted my thoughts
and walked
with the emptiness
of constantly losing

i am so used to this sorrowful feeling
but this time zolan
it was enough for me

you were enough for me
your love
was everything it should be

your words
all said so
scripted and
delicately

but eventually
they turned
and i don't know why i didn't realize

i constantly cling to people that don't want me
i cling to kisses, hugs, soul ties and virginity
i cling to
the thought of
having to forget everything
and only say your name
in my memory

you were enough for me
you were everything i wanted
and

i knew somehow
it just couldn't be

but still
you called out for me

and look at you
you still cling
to a girl that you don't love anymore

save yourself the heartache
save me the grief

and just let me be

your heartbreak
your sorrow
your pain
your presence
a drop
in my lifetime

but a moment that will live with me
forever
never
and i mean it
never

could i ever fight for someone
or something
the way i fought for you to want me

i am tired of fighting
tired of being
somehow
not enough

im tired of not being believed

and so
i love you, indefinitely
and ill love someone else
but never in the same way
it'll never feel that way

i won't be able to do
what i did for you
for anyone else

i will be protected
i will be guarded
i will be distant

until the day i die

because never have i
given so much
to someone i love

more than you will ever understand

not the money
not the gifts

i gave you
all that was left

and when i was low
i reached down through my sorrows
and still held my hands open
to give

i will give to you
until
my bones break

i will give to you
even when you don't know
what i want you to take

i loved you in a crazy
stupid
beautiful kind of way

and it was enough for me

and if anyone
were to see all of me
nakedly
im glad it was you

if anyone
were to love me
and take care of me
im glad it was you

if anyone
were to see my ugly
and carry my secrets and wipe my eyes
see my scars
and still say
i am the most beautiful girl in the world

to which I will never believe from anyone else
im glad it was you.

you're the only person i trusted to give my heart to. and so you broke it, but it's you. it's you.

and I'm glad it was you.

because i don't doubt.

i was loved.

i was loved beautifully.

and you will live and die with my heart in your hands, rather you know it or not.

im okay with that thought.

because i was loved by you.

and someone else will love me, and you, and their lips will kiss different walks of the earth. but ill always remember
that i loved you

always

and

you were
the first.

and my last.

no matter who loves me.

my heart

is safe

in your hands.

yeah, he took me to the water when i was having a panic attack i literally oiling breathe it was so cold outside i don't even remember how I go there I just opened my eyes and he was holding my hand and watching me calm down an stuff. u don't understand, he means the world to me. im literally falling in love with him. he makes me feel so safe.