No Strings

Chapter 51--Boy Does Not Lose Girl

I found myself greeting William at the door. I wasn't sure why at first, but seeing him in his business coat and suit was somehow satisfying. He was smiling at me, though a little tired.

"Miss me?" he asked.

I nodded. I wasn't sure what to say. He hugged me.

I could smell the scent of fresh air, stale bad coffee, and something that told me it was him--a scent that I had only gotten used to recently.

"What have you been up to?" he asked.

He loosened his grip.

"They saw my submission and... the people at work are also joking that Richard will have to make me both secretary and whatever they assign me to do. He's been lamenting that my ideas will be good, though he says he has confidence in me. How was your trip?"

"Not bad. I managed to work out some of the kinks. I might have to go in a month, but there shouldn't be anything serious. Most of the work after that will be local restoration projects."

I hugged him again. "Then you'll be home for a while?"

"Yes, I'll be home for a while."

"You should unpack. You must be exhausted."

He put down his bags. "I'm not that bad. I can cook dinner."

"We don't have that much." I hadn't gone shopping that week.

"I'll scrounge up something. I'm hungry. I hate being on a trip where I can't cook for myself. I missed watching you eat."

He went towards the kitchen. I picked up his bag and dragged it up the stairs to his room. The suitcase was a little heavier than I expected it to be.

When I came down, I found him chopping garlic and onions. There were several canned things around him.

"What can I do?"

"There should be a good wine in the basement. Could you get the red Bordeaux?"

"OK... I'll be back up."

I felt comfortable having him home again. I didn't need him around to function, but somehow he filled the hole of silence. My boredom dissipated when he was around. Besides I think the ferrets seemed to miss him. He let them explore the house when I wasn't around.

He poured about a cup of the Bordeaux over the sauce he had. The food was a concoction of tomato, tomato paste and mushroom. I could smell the tin smell from the cans.

He poured in some milk after the wine had cooked in.

"What is that?" I asked looking at the almost pink concoction.

"I'm not sure, but it's what we have left."

"I don't know if we have pasta though."

William shook his head. "We don't. But we might have some of that wild rice left."

"Wild rice?" I asked.

"Yup, I think it's in that cabinet over there, I brought it back from that trip to Florida."

He grabbed another pot, covered the contents of the frying pan and then looked in my direction. I watched him reaching for one of the cabinets. He nodded. "A bit to the right on the top shelf."

He filled the pot with water and then set it on the stove. I wanted to get a rice cooker, but I hadn't gotten around to it.

I found it. The long grains of dark brown rice interspersed with what looked like white grains.

He looked around in the freezer. "There's no meat... Oh well the cheese and milk can be our protein."

He grabbed some cheddar and parmesan.

The wild rice cooked more quickly than I expected. He poured the portions onto the plates I gave him. I set up our kitchen table.

"OK. Done."

He sat down in his chair. The wine became our drinks. He tasted it, "Not bad, but I didn't have any herbs that would work."

He put some pepper over it and then tried again. "Not bad."

I had to agree. He was eating his rice in a coat and a suit. For some reason I found it fascinating. I was used to him eating in lesser attire. He spilled a little sauce on his jacket by mistake. He got up to wash it off with a paper towel.

I said to him, "I love you."

I didn't know why I said it. I knew I felt it. Perhaps I'd felt it, but I was too scared before. I still felt scared. But I realized my voice hadn't reached past my nose. I repeated it a little louder.

He glanced back at me. "Hmm?"

I paused and then said the words in a louder voice. "I love you."

He'd turned off the faucet before I'd said it. I could feel the mixed emotions of fear, relief, longing and emptiness in that moment. My voice was clear.

"I love you too." I thought the voice was a bit too nonchalant. I thought he would be happier. But I didn't catch the slow creeping smile on his face. Then the thought occurred to me that he was shocked. Perhaps he'd said it as a reflex.

I found myself shaking. I was so scared, but I felt so good. I'd said it. I'd said it. He kneeled next to me and hugged me until I stopped shaking.

"It'll be alright," he said.

But I knew that I couldn't be sure. My hands felt weak. I said, "Will it?"

"I will try my best to make it true," he said.

I turned towards him. I could see a faint wetness around his eyes. Somehow, though I knew love wasn't sure, he would be there for me. My heart didn't say so. My heart and my instincts said so. Everything was right.

He let go when I stopped quivering. His smile didn't stop after he drank a second glass of wine. His grin was almost idiotic. A smile formed on my lips too--almost as wide as his. He'd glance at me over the meal. I would steal a few looks back. I could feel a slow warmth spread over me.

At the end of the meal, we washed the dishes together. I looked up at him and without asking permission, he kissed me.

We were frozen there. I was holding a plate and I could hear the water running but that didn't seem to matter. His lips were soft and sweet. The taste of wine and the sauce wasn't foreign. He let go and then we stared at each other for a long time. I found myself blushing.

We fell asleep in the living room watching a movie together. The wine had made me sleepy.