No Strings

Chapter 39--Girl Goes to Concert

The birds were chirping and twittering outside of the bedroom window. I rolled out of the bed and found myself facing the floor. A quiet morning beyond the sound of the birds and wind.

I was used to hearing something from the kitchen--the percolating coffee, rustling dishes, or footsteps.

William was gone. He had been gone before. Nothing new. I should have gotten used to his absence. I stumbled down the steps and then paused halfway. I looked out of the window. The day was bright. I still couldn't hear anything. Oh yeah, William was gone.

I went down the stairs and sat at the kitchen table, but my coffee cup wasn't there. I looked up to try to figure out why and reminded myself it wasn't made yet. I steadied myself and made it. I got my cup, bowl and cereal.

I placed them on the table, sat down and listened to the coffee percolate. I found myself falling half-asleep at the table. I could almost hear William shifting his and my cup into place in his equal sleepy stupor. He was always fussy about the bean to water ratio and how clean the pot should be.

I woke myself up and once again reminded myself he wasn't there. He would wake me up when I was like this. I got up and stumbled for the cereal. I found my cereal bowl, set it down and made my cereal selection. I was getting tired of Rice Krispies. I had nothing else, so I set it down and poured myself a bowl.

The coffee finished. I poured myself a cup, almost looking for a second cup. I grabbed at something that wasn't there. I found myself very annoyed. I took my cup back to my seat and drank in the scent of the coffee. I half expected someone to say something. But no one was there. I drank it and ate my cereal. William liked to comment on the shapes in the cereal bowl. I found amusement from it too.

The crunch of the cereal and the popping was so loud that I was tempted to turn on music. This was too ridiculous. I wasn't this dysfunctional. I'd lived on my own before. William had been gone before and I didn't mind. I pinched my own cheeks and slapped them.

Missing him was not attractive. Missing someone is the same as being clingy. But still as I stared out of the kitchen window. I wanted to tell him. I let that sit with me until the cereal got soggy.

Only three days had passed and I kept doing this. I sighed and dumped out the cereal. I cleaned the bowl, almost expecting him to scold me for not doing it. I, then again, realized he was not here. But by the time I noticed, the bowl was clean and on the dish rack.

This was stupid. I needed to do something constructive. I picked up the front hall phone on impulse, to break my routine. I called every friend within driving distance and invited them to a movie. When I wasn't successful, I got ready for work and then went through my cellphone list while I waited for my boss to arrive.

Lu-yin called at lunchtime and said she was swamped. However, William's friend Lacey called me back. I didn't remember calling her.

"William is out of town again," Lacey teased.

"What do you mean again?" I said.

"He told me to watch out for you. He thought you might be lonely. So, I have tickets to a concert. There is a great artist in town. He's kind of underground, but I think you'll like him. We could go to that."

"Sure," I said. I was feeling a little desperate to get out of the house and do something with myself, productive or not.

I didn't recognize the name of the band, but I didn't care. I drove to the concert in Boston. I parked and was relieved to see human life. I never thought living in the country could leave me so desperate for human contact. What a novelty! There were talking, breathing, living people.

I met Lacey at the concert hall. Lacey showed up with two women I didn't know. They introduced themselves as Shandra and Danielle. I was a bit surprised she hadn't taken any guys, but I didn't say anything. I used my business smile and introduced myself. I wasn't likely to meet them again. They were planning to return home to Stanton, New Jersey tomorrow anyway.

If we were going to be jammed between stoners and drunks, I thought it was basic to be cordial.

Lacey slapped a ticket into my hand. Noise filled the area around the ticket booth. The guards checked our belongings before we went in.

A bored clerk looked at his watch before tearing my ticket and yawning. We walked into the auditorium. Finding the seats without an usher was hard.

There was a band already playing. It wasn't the main event. They were the openers. I could tell it was some kind of soul, funk, folk. I don't usual listen to that kind of music, but somehow it was pleasant. The sound and twangs overcame me. The blue lights and smoke had an odd sense of comfort to them.

Then the main band came out on stage with an assortment of instruments.

The crowd went wild drowning out the music in the beginning. People began to clap in time together. It had been a long time since I'd gone to concert. The crowd cheered again as the lead guitarist moved his hands furiously along the neck of the guitar.

I found myself enjoying myself. People were shouting the lead guitarist's name. He began to sing as well, surprising me.

Near the end of the concert, on cue, there were drunks people and stoners, but they were mild compared to most everyone else. I could smell the mix on the air and see people sway back and forth to the music, but I could feel my heart lift. I felt refreshed.

The concert ended with a huge cheer.

"What he did with that harmonica was absolute magic!" one of the girls cooed. I didn't remember which was which anymore.

"It was... and the wa wa sound was amazing."

"Very good skill," Lacey added, a touch more reserved.

One of the girls said something about going out for a drink. I shifted my feet.

"I have to go... I'm sorry I can't stick around for drinks," I said.

"No problem, we have a plane to catch too."

Lacey hugged me which caught me by surprise and said, "I'm glad you came. It was fun. When you see William tell him to call me, OK?"

I nodded realizing that I had forgotten about William. I wonder if the pot fumes had also affected me too.

"Thank you for inviting me," I said.

"Call me again, sometime," she said.

I was walking back when she called to me. I turned towards her.

"Call William sometime too. He keeps worrying about you," she said.

I nodded. I drove home in the silent car. I came home and found the house was empty again. I debated what I should do tomorrow. There was no way I could stay in this house again... or perhaps I should learn to cope. I collapsed on the couch, and put my arm over my forehead.