A Lunatic's Lament

18

A few days had gone by since Vic threatened my life. I was too scared to even so much as look in his direction. I was like a zombie; on autopilot and doing whatever he wanted. He didn't hurt me and only ever touched me in an affectionate way, never sexual or violent. Things were calm and I felt dead inside, but nothing bad had happened in those days.

Vic liked routine. Every day we would wake up, he'd make us breakfast, we would eat together, then we'd have "quality time" together where we would talk, which basically consisted of him talking and me half paying attention. After that he'd make us lunch, we'd eat, then we'd do some cleaning, or maybe play a board game or read something. Next came dinner, then we'd shower and go to bed. I spent every moment with him and although he was nice, I still hated him with everything in me.

Right now we were sitting on the couch. His arm was around my shoulder and he was holding me close. Things were kind of tense since I had attacked him, but he was still all smiles and acting loving towards me. Every time he touched me though I just felt sick. I was less focused on his touch at the moment and more focused on the television in front of me.

This is the first time he's let me watch TV I didn't even care that it was some pathetic daytime soap opera that was on; it was still something to distract me from him. Something happened though that made my heart leap into my throat. A commercial break came on, but instead of commercials it was a news update. At first it was the usual major things happening in the world. I didn't care much for it. Most of it was political, but then a reporter came on screen and I saw my house, not only that, but my parents standing outside of it. My jaw dropped and my eyes instantly filled with tears when I saw the broken look on their faces.

"Today marks the end of the 4th week since eighteen year old local man, Kellin Matthews, has gone missing. I'm standing here at his family home with his parents," the reporter spoke before he turned to them, "How are you two holding up?"

I ripped myself from Vic's grasp and clambered down in front of the TV. There they were, right in front of me yet so far away. So many emotions were flowing through me. I was happy to see them, but I was in so much despair knowing that I couldn't be with them. My mom started crying and my dad held her. No, I didn't like seeing them like this.

"Kellin," Vic said in a warning tone.

He showed up standing next to me and went to turn the TV off. I grabbed his hand to stop him and looked up with pleading eyes.

"Please just let me watch, please," I said. He sighed and reluctantly stepped away. In an instant my eyes were glued back to the television.

"It's been tough. Every day that we don't know where he is gets worse. We miss him and his friends miss him. We just want him back," my dad answered.

"Have there been any breakthroughs in the case?" the reporter asked. My mom, still unable to answer, buried her face in my dad's shirt while he kept talking.

"Unfortunately there are still no leads. The police aren't able to prove whether he was taken or if he ran away," he said and my stomach dropped.

It didn't sound like they were close to finding me at all. Vic switched the TV off before anything else was said. I was left there crying on the floor. Oh God I missed them so much. Being here had me constantly feeling homesick. I hadn't yet come to terms with the fact that I might not ever talk to my parents again. I couldn't bear the thought. Just seeing them again hurt so much. I couldn't stand it.

"Please, Vic...I want to go back to my family," I said, looking up at him.

"I'm your family now," he said defiantly. Something just snapped inside me.