A Lunatic's Lament

15

I was half way between consciousness and being unconscious. I'd feel my eyelids slowly close and I'd be overcome with the amazing sensation of falling asleep, only to force myself awake again. I'd be alert and looking around in a panic, only to find that I was the same place I had been for hours, sitting down huddled in the corner of the room.

Vic had left me in here for a while. I had no idea what he was doing out there and I had no idea when he was coming back. Maybe I should just give in and go to sleep. I was too afraid that something might happen when I'm sleeping. Just when I was about to lay down, the door opened. I looked up with wide eyes as Vic started down the stairs. He had killed Rick. Was he planning on killing me next?

"Relax, Kellin. I won't hurt you. I need you to come with me, but you have to behave," he said. I didn't make a movement. I was shaking, partly because I was cold and partly because of the fear running through me. When he got to the bottom of the stairs he kept walking closer.

"Get away from me," I said in a raspy voice. Vic looked down at me, sighing.

"When have I ever hurt you?" He asked.

"Oh, I don't know, how about when you forced me to have sex with you?" I accused.

He frowned and shook his head. He crouched down in front of me. He was giving such a kind look but it didn't make me feel better.

"Oh, Kellin, you misinterpreted that completely. You might not have understood at the time, but you will eventually. That was making love," he explained. I felt like throwing up.

"You're sick," I spat out. He ignored me.

"I'm going to take you upstairs and we're going to talk properly," he said definitively.

"No," I refused.

"Yes. Trust me, you'll feel better in the sunlight. We can go and sit outside and have a nice talk. I'll tell you everything you want to know. Every little thing," he said.

I looked him in the eyes. He looked like he was telling the truth, but then again he had lied to me so easily for weeks. What if he's lying now? I don't have anything to lose anymore though, right? It was either sit down here and waste away, or I can go up there and get the answers I so desperately wanted.

Without a word I pushed myself up from the ground. He reached a hand out to help me but I swiftly moved away. I didn't need or want his help. He accepted that before turning and walking up the stairs. I followed him, keeping my distance. I noticed his clothes were different. I was so used to seeing him wearing the same white ones I wore, but now he was dressed casually in a grey t-shirt and dark blue jeans. Glancing down at myself I took note that my clothes weren't so white anymore now that they were covered in blood and dirt. It was disgusting, but it was the least of my problems.

I followed him out of the basement, then he took me down the hall and opened the front door. I squinted as the bright light hit my eyes. It was either the middle of the day or mid-afternoon, I wasn't sure. I stepped out onto the patio. To one side there was a mini-garden, to the other there was a small table and three chairs surrounding it.

"Take a seat," Vic told me.

He went over to one himself and sat down. I eyed him suspiciously. He wasn't holding a weapon anymore. That led me to believe that he either thought I wasn't a danger anymore, or that knife this morning had been to protect us from Rick. Maybe Vic didn't want to hurt me at all. I couldn't believe I just thought that. Am I really trying to think the best of this man? Whether he wanted to hurt me or not, he's still a horrible person. He's still sick and disgusting. I still hate him. I sat down on the chair furthest away from him and waited for him to speak.