Still Holding On (sequel to Don't Let Go)

Chapter Seventeen

It's been a month since Ms Allen died and it has been hard on all of us. The kids had grown to love their Grammy and the world is different for not just Cam but for myself as Ms Allen ultimately raised me after I loss my family.

Vanessa and I are doing great. Things are so much better since we took the few days off to spend with just us and get things situated with our relationship. We are communicating more and I couldn't ask for a better partner to raise our family with.

Sutton and Blakely are unbelievably three months old now! Sutton officially got his g-tube last week and is such a trooper. We hope that as he continues to grow he will be able to eat and feed on his own more. I never thought I would have a special needs baby but who does. The doctors are still running test to see what's going on with our little boy or he's just developing slower than his sister. We will never let these things define our little boy. Blakely is thriving. She's smiling and cooing. I love watching her grow and become such a sassy little girl.

Leighton is also becoming such an amazing big brother. At first it was a hard transition as he was the only child for awhile. We make sure he has his one on one time with us and he is so excited to be starting little league football this fall. He is certainly all boy. As far as Dario, he gets out in another month. Leighton clearly holds no hard feelings towards his Dad and is very excited to see him. Leighton is still in counseling and that has played a big part in understanding that his Dad was under the influence and wasn't behaving in a positive way. Despite all the drama with Dario, Vanessa and I are both looking forward to watching Dario to do well with his sobriety and be the Father we know he can be, that he has been and the Father that Leighton deserves.

Trent and Addison are still active in our lives thank goodness. I couldn't imagine never being able to talk to her again. She changed my life for the better and made me the Mom that I am today. I owe her a lot.

As far as my best friend and her family. Jade and Cam are doing fabulous. It makes me so happy to see their relationship grow. Julianna and Karter are amazing kids. They just welcomed a rescue to the family. A little German Shepard name Juniper. The kids love her and of course now Leighton can't stop asking for a dog as well. Who know's, maybe one day we will get him one but for now, he better enjoy Hobbit, the hamster.

Vanessa is still doing real estate. She's in the process of opening her own office and I couldn't be more proud of her. She has become an amazing woman and mother. She is so independent and has been use to doing for herself, she has really had to learn that we are a family and we depend on each other.

For now, I'm a stay at home Mom. I still own the Diner but now I'm just an owner. We hired Eric and Olivia to run it for us. It is still staying busy and I love it but I wanted something for myself. I have been thinking about writing a book and Vanessa has been really supportive of the idea.

I've been through perplexing journey. I've gone through things that most people don't have to endure but there are people who do and will. I want to be some kind of support system for people I can't physically reach. I have dealt with the loss of my Mother and little brother. I have dealt with an abusive Dad and who I eventually loss. I went through dealing with my first love who turned out to be crazy. I love Shannon but she was a hell of a ride. She brought an amazing little girl into my life name Addison. She brought Trent my extended family into my life. So despite that craziness and losing her to suicide she has did some great things for me.

Then I went on the journey of finding real love and learning how to love. I started my own family and here I am. It's been 8 years and I would have never imagine this would be the place I would end up. I'm on the crazy but wonderful journey called life and it definitely has its ups and downs but you just have to keep going, keep fighting through the bumps and turmoil you can still find your way to the top.

I love my life and I love the people in it. I can wait to see what the future holds for us. Vanessa Cam, Jade, JuJu, Addy, Leighton, Sutton, Blakely, Trent, Shannon, and Ms. Allen: thank you for everything you've ever done for me. For making me into the person I am today because I would have never have made it without any of you. You never have to worry,
I'm still holding on.