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We were fine at first, we were happy. He admired me for who I was and I did the same for him. It was such a colorful phase that I thought it would never end. I actually believed that the feeling was gonna last for the both of us. He would always be there, that a time where he will choose to ignore me would never come.
But it did happen in the end. He gradually changed, his actions and words truly became different. I stared at his glorious features and wondered where things went wrong.
How did our beautiful bond go from intact to barely hanging. Seongwoo sits in front of me now, without a single hint of gladness in his eyes. I knew what he was going to say, it was something that I would never want to hear.
"Let's stop, we should let ourselves rest now." Hearing those words from him was like a huge slap to my heart.
"Okay, let's rest for now until we're ready to be back again." I was trying to sound as unaffected, slightly hoping that he would take his words back.
"No, let's stop this relationship. We should separate ways now." I really tried to stop myself from crying.
This was too much, too difficult to handle. The guy who promised to never break my heart to a million pieces was gone. He was replaced by this now cold Seongwoo who seemed like a stranger to me.
"Don't do this Ong, don't do this to me." I clenched my fists and stared at him with tears in my eyes.
I did not care if people were glancing at us, they probably realized how vulnerable I looked. This was such a sappy scene, such a pitiful sight to look at. The very scene where a girl becomes the only one who wants to hold on, who wishes for things to go back in time. It occurred to me that he really did want us to stop now, but we've come so far it is such a waste to just end it like this. We went through a lot together, I can't put the pieces together as to why he would officially give up on what we worked hard on keeping.
"It's for the best." I heard him sigh, he was not even looking at me.
Was this what I deserved? A cold end? After all those sleepless nights looking at each other's eyes, it will all just end up in this horrible situation?
"Why? Please tell me why." My heart was wrenching, my tears pouring out like huge crystals filled with utmost sorrow.
"I'm tired, you're tired. Let's just end this." I shook my head and looked at him in disbelief.
"You're not making any sense, since when was this tired thing an issue to us? Since when did we give up on each other?" I was desperate, too desperate that maybe he would still change his mind.
"There's no point in fighting about this, I've already told you so many times about the things you do which exhausts me so much. It's driving me crazy how you can't seem to understand me." That was the moment I actually lost hope.
I recalled every single fault I had ever done, all the toxicity I had given to him and how horrible I became.
"I'm trying to understand! I changed for you Seongwoo, I really am trying." The amount of people in the area was enough to make me crawl into a ball.
How ironic was it that we had to break up in such a public place? Everyone gets to have a fair share of gossip to tell to their friends later.
"Let's just stop this." I tried to keep it together and breathed deeply to calm myself.
There was no point in trying to convince him, I knew how firm he can get when he sets his mind for something. The unfair thing is that everything we've been through seems like it was just all a waste of time.
"You want us to stop?" It was the moment wherein he finally looked at me, when I uttered those words while trying to not falter even more.
It was in his eyes when I saw that he was sure, that no matter how I tried to tell him I still wanted to fight, he already gave up on us.
"Okay I'll give you what you want. You want me out of your life? Sure! But I want you to know that I chose you everyday even when you gave me reasons not to. I chose to love you despite the fact that I became so doubtful of myself, you've gone so cold to me it was tearing me apart."
"Stop, my mind won't change anymore." He exclaimed.
It made me furious, all those months of being together, him promising me such sweet lies I can't believe I actually held onto it.
"Your mind won't change because you never really loved me for who I am. Even if you did, I don't understand how you could actually not choose me in the end. The idea that someone accepts and loves you for who you are? This is the reason why you kept me by your side, isn't it?" I stood up from the table and wiped the tears that kept on streaming.
"Sorry, but I really can't do this with you anymore."
"It's sad how you used to be the one insisting to enter my life, now you insist on leaving too." I slammed the necklace he gave to me on my birthday and looked at him for the last time.
"Have a good life, Ong Seongwoo."
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Hi, I'm back. Please don't get mad at me for this.
