I went to my room after dinner, telling my parents that I was going to do homework, then go to bed. But in actuality, I had other plans.
I texted Belly, “meet me @ jenning’s park @ 8:30”. I needed to talk to her. She hadn’t been acting the same towards me like she had before, she was being a little more standoffish. Soon after I sent the text, I got my coat and things. Since I lived in a one story hose, I could get out easily without being spotted. I climbed out of my window and walked quietly across my lawn and down the street.
Jenning’s Park was where Michael, Ashton, Luke, and I spent a large amount of our summers when we were younger. It was a big park with lots of space to run and play. There was a tennis court, a soccer field, and a playground even. We would always go there to play sports of wait for the girls to come around.
I went to the playground near the entrance and sat down on one of the benches to wait for Belly. I checked my phone, ten minutes earlier, she had written, “on my way”, and when I looked, there she was walking towards me.
He long blonde hair was curly from the day. She was wearing a big, gray winter coat that went to her knees and black leggings with Uggs. She sat down next to me on the bench without a word.
"Hi," I finally said. "Glad you could make it."
"Yeah, me too," She smiled at me.
"I felt like I needed to talk to you about today and just I guess, everything that’s been going on lately. Like, with us."
She looked at her knees like she knew what was coming.
"Are you embarrassed of me, Belly?" I asked finally.
"What? Why would you ever ask me that?" She looked surprised.
"Because lately it’s felt like that. Especially today at McDonald’s, it felt like you saw me as scum."
"Calum, you know I wouldn’t ever do that to you. You know that I care about you, Calum."
"Really? How? Because it doesn’t feel like it. Every time I feel like we’re getting somewhere, you just go and throw it away and start treating me like a lower class. It’s a vicious cycle, you know."
She shook her head to herself, “I’m sorry, Calum. We never have even defined what we are.”
"Well, I know that you know what I wish we were."
She turned and put her hand on my cheek, “Then why can’t we be what you want?” She leaned in and gave me a soft, quick kiss.
"I want to, I really do want to be with you." I said, eyes closed, feeling her good vibe coursing through the air.
"Then why can’t we?" I could feel her breath on my lips.
"Because I know what will happen. I know you’ll be embarrassed of me. And then, when your friends give you looks and ask you what you were thinking, you’ll break up with me. And then you’ll act like it was just some stupid idea that you had once." My eyes were open now, and I could feel the good vibes go up in flames. I could see the pain her eyes, because she knew that I was right.
"I’m sorry I’ve never had my own voice or anything in this crowd I got thrown into," She rubbed her thumb on my cheek. "But it’s never too late to start."
"Belly, I love you, but I just don’t think i can do this. I have too many doubts and I just know what’s going to happen." I stood up. "Besides, I don’t want to put either of us through that cycle I was talking about."
"So," She stood up next to me. "You brought me here for this? So you could break my heart? So you could let me down and tell me everything I do that would make this relationship dysfunctional?"
I Sighed loudly, “That’s not what I meant.”
"Then what did you mean, Calum? Huh?" She always got so into arguments, but that was just something else I loved about her.
I paused for a moment, “I don’t know. I just have a bad feeling?”
"When I have a bad feelings about something, it doesn’t matter to me. I still go for it every time. I dive right in head first," She smiled to herself, then wiping her cheeks of tears that I hadn’t seen. "And look! We’re already fighting like we’re together anyway!"
"That’s what we’ve always done, Belly." I said, taking a step closer to her. "We talk, we fight, we hold our grudges, and then we make up. And it’s something to get used to, but I don’t care. Why don’t we just give it a shot?"
"As long as you don’t treat me like a lower class," She teased. I took her into my arms. "I love you, Calum."
"I love you too, Belly."
