Chapter Forty Four

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Kakashi's POV:

She was gone by morning.

I was up at 5 am- a new for me, knocking on her door. For five minutes, I banged on that door, pretending that she was asleep, that she hadn't left. But then I tried the door and it was unlocked.

The entire apartment was barren, an empty husk void of any sign of (Y/N). A key and note sat on the kitchen counter. A simple direction for whoever found them to return the key to the Hokage.

This counter... we had fucked against this counter. I had made her food and we ate it at the table in the corner...

It was unbearable, I had to leave the room.

I walked into the bedroom, sat on the edge of the bed. The bed where we had...

"Dammit!" I clenched my fists, gritting my teeth.

This wasn't fair. I was supposed to find her here, surprised by my visit. We were supposed to tease each other.

Surprised to see me shortie?

She would laugh, a sound that made the sun brighter and the sky bluer.

Of course you'd come by without warning, you pervert.

"Come back." I whispered.

I ran through our last encounter in my mind. She had been so broken, so full of pain. And I couldn't help her...

I hate you.

I stood up, walking out of the bedroom. Grabbing the key, I exited the apartment quickly, slamming the door on my way out.

She hated me, had said so herself. Up to that point, I could tell that it was a charade, an act. She wanted to scare me off, to prevent me from raising support for her cause. But those three words...

And her eyes.

With these eyes, I will save my people alone. Not with your help. I am enough.

God, her eyes were the most beautiful things I had ever seen. She had mistaken my awe for fear.

I chuckled. In that moment, when she ripped her hood off, I was so captivated by her beauty that I nearly fell off the roof.

You really are like everyone else. Afraid of my eyes. Why would you be any different? I was blind to think that you would be different. I was right to hide myself from you.

Why didn't I tell her otherwise? Why didn't I defend myself? She had been so angry, I thought that maybe letting her rant would calm her down. I though she would feel better after letting off steam. But it ended with both of us getting hurt.

I walked down the street, leaving her apartment behind. That place full of so much love and light- it was now nothing more but an eyesore. A reminder of what I had lost.

My feet led me home, back to my own small apartment. Once, I had wanted to take (Y/N) here. Even on the roof... I had planned to take her to my bed after she had calmed down. I wanted to give her comfort, to remind her she wasn't alone.

"It wasn't supposed to end like this." I muttered under my breath.

I traipsed up the stairs, opened my front door and went straight to my bed, collapsing on it.

I blew out a long breath, turning to my side. Then something pressed on my leg and I reached in my pocket, pulling out (Y/N)'s key. I set it on my nightstand. I would return it to Lady Tsunade in the morning.

As dawn broke, I began to drift off. I hadn't gotten any sleep last night. I was too busy thinking about (Y/N). I had paced for hours, wondering if I should go to her. Then I would decide against it and pace again, considering the same decision until morning. Until it was too late.

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