Basta't Kasama Kita

14

He had been back in the US for a few days already when he suddenly noticed his carryon bag sitting on the chair in his bedroom. Bukod sa pagkuha ng kanyang travel documents at wallet sa bag na ‘yun ay hindi na n’ya ginalaw ang mga laman ng bag na ‘yun ever since he got back. At dahil wala s’yang gagawin ng gabing iyon ay napag-isipan n’yang buklatin ito.

Nang buksan n’ya iyon ay napansin n’ya agad ang isang envelope na may nakasulat na pangalan n’ya sa labas nito. The letter looked old because the ink seemed to have started to smear and the white color of the envelope was starting to yellow. Nagtaka s’ya kung saan nanggaling ito at bakit ngayon n’ya lang napansin ito. Pero bigla rin n’yang naalala na inabot ito sa kanya nga kanyang kapatid nang paalis na s’ya sa kanyang condo sa Pilipinas. Pinunit n’ya ang gilid ng envelope at kinuha ang laman nito.

He was so surprised to see Sandra’s handwriting. The letter wrote:

March 7, 2009

9:15 am

Dear Greg,

First of all happy birthday! I couldn’t wish any more blessings because I know how blessed you are already.

Before I get wrapped up with the preparations for our grad ball this evening, I am writing this letter to tell you some things… things that I don’t think I’d be able to say to you in person. And because it is important for me to tell you about it, dito ko na lang sa letter sasabihin. So here goes… Greg, I’ve had a crush on you for like forever. At dahil naging magkabarkada tayo ay naging masaya at mahirap ito para sa akin. Masaya ako dahil I got the chance to get to know you better. At kahit na palagi tayong nag-aaway ay di naman nababawasan ang pagkagusto ko sa ‘yo. Oo, minsan nakakapikon ka na talaga but there are still some times that I think what you’re doing is so endearing. Masaya in a way kasi at least napapansin mo ako kahit na palaging may kasamang pang-aasar. At feeling ko din ay maraming naiinggit sa aking mga babaeng patay na patay sa ‘yo kasi palagi tayong magkasama. Nakakatuwa din ‘yung ibang times na strikto ka sa akin, sa aming mga girls, when it comes to parties and gimmicks kasi I feel so protected. Pakiramdam ko walang masamang mangyayari sa akin basta nandyan ka.

But it became so hard when I started feeling that this is more than just a crush. Ang hirap kasi hindi pwede. Hindi pwede kasi magkaibigan tayo. At masyado naman ‘ata akong ilusyonada kung iisipin kong magkakagusto ka rin sa akin. You are the great Greg Antonio at ako ay isang ordinaryong Alessandra Gallego lang. I am probably just like one of your admirers sa paningin mo. At mas lalong magiging mahirap kung malaman mong may feelings ako for you, na paniguradong hindi mo naman maibabalik sa akin, kasi parang magiging tainted na ang friendship natin. It’s going to be so awkward. At ako ang may kasalanan n’un.

But now that we’ve only got a few days before our college life ends, pwede ko nang sabihin ito lahat sa ‘yo. Tutal we’ll be going our separate ways. Hindi na tayo magkikita araw-araw kaya wala nang magiging awkward moments. At kung lumayo ka man o umiwas at di na magpakita ulit sa akin ay pwede kong isipin na masyadong ka nang busy sa ‘yong buhay at hindi ko na kailangang isipin na dahil ito sa bwisit kong feelings. I promised myself that I would tell you one day about all of these. I want to tell you to get it off my chest and move on. And that day is today.