i wish that you could understand
how much you fucking meant to me.
so im writing this for you,
and also for myself so i can finally get it off my chest.
when i first met you, i was curious.
i never knew that you would eventually be my whole world.
do you remember when we sang all time low at the top of our lungs together in your car even though neither of us could actually sing?
do you remember how close we felt when we would jump into your shower together and i would wash your hair for you and you would do the same for me?
do you remember that you first told me you loved me under the fireworks on the 4th of july?
do you remember our tickle wars where we were so goofy together, we would just laugh so hard and sometimes it got violent.
do you remember our first date, we went to my favorite restaurant, we hiked some trails and a snake went over my foot, then we finally kissed, and after that we got chocolate milk.
do you remember the first time i met your parents and how much they liked me?
do you remember the first time that we walked your dog together through the park across from your house?
do you remember when we went to the movies two days in a row and both times we just held each other close?
do you remember when it was my time of the month so you picked me up, bought me chocolate and snacks and we cuddled in your bed for hours.
do you remember when you taught me how to play your favorite game: rainbow on playstation?
do you remember how we had planned our future together, apartment, marriage, and two babies. a girl, amaya maria. and a boy, christopher.
do you remember any of these things?
i feel like all you can remember are the bad things now..
because we were so good together,
but then we drifted away and fell apart.
you're always on my mind.
i miss you, im sorry i fucked up our future..
but at least i can remember the past.
