Lumière // h.s

[ f o r t y - f i v e ]

Cait's POV

I felt sick, I'd been sick in fact multiple times. Before you assume and before you start to smirk no, I am not pregnant. I'm still a virgin, and I haven't exactly been near Harry these past 4 days to in fact get myself pregnant.

I'd been sick multiple times because of worry, because of stress and because of the bullshit.

Someone - I don't know who caught us. Someone at my mums wedding caught Harry and I together in the room he'd privately asked a key for. Someone had followed us up there and snuck in. Neither of us locked the door - we didn't think we'd need to.

Someone took advantage of that. They followed us, snook in and took photos. Not only did they release the photos but gave interviews anonymously about conversations we had, personal conversations.

I felt sick that someone at my own mothers wedding was twisted enough to do that, to want to put us out there in such a way.

Theoretically it destroyed me. My twitter followers increased - as well as the abuse, hate and threats. I'd received the most vile tweets they even made me throw up a few times.

People were taking photos from my Facebook and making fun of them. I quickly deleted my Facebook afterwards.

They were tormenting me on Instagram, commenting on photos. I had only posted one photo, it was of all the bridesmaids. They'd torn me to shreds with words, telling me how I couldn't possibly be a model, how it was a joke that I'd even gotten a modelling contract.

"Hey," Harry's voice was soft as he knocked on my door. I hadn't left my room except to shower and use the toilet. He would bring food up but I'd barely touch it.

I was sat by window old tears on my cheeks as i had read my daily amount of abuse. I'd ignored everyone, I hadn't tweeted in days and hadn't even dared to look at my texts knowing I'd have a few from Louis.

"Hi," My voice was rough probably from crying myself to sleep each night, Harry holding me until I was fast asleep, telling me it was okay and that he was here for me.

"I er, I just finished packing."

My eyes stay fixed on the outside, it was melancholy, raining and traditionally british.

"Of course, you're going to Stockholm." My voice monotone. I'd forgotten he was going back on tour.

"I don't want to, but I have to. The boys flew over night, I got an afternoon flight so I could stay with you a little longer."

"Thank you but, I'm okay. You should have gone with the boys." I swallow pulling my jumper sleeves down and over my hands. "Don't stop for me."

"Cait,"

I close my eyes.

"You're not eating or thinking or.. anything."

"I'm fine-"

"You're not fine." He interrupts. "The fans, I've tweeted them, I've told them that this whole abuse thing is not cool-"

I scoff. "Not cool?" I look at him, my eyes emotionless and probably red.

He looks confused, hurt and shocked all at once.

"I get told daily to die, that I'm ugly and that I should downsize and you've told them it's not cool?! It's fucking abuse!" I snap. "They're harassing me, I can't do anything! My life is ruined, I can't..i can't.." I sob all over again - Harry's arms around me within seconds rocking me side to side as he soothes me.

"I love you,"

I sniffle. "I love you too."

He was quiet holding me. "I never knew I was living in such darkness until you can into my life and lit it up."

I couldn't help but smile.

"Vous êtes ma Lumière."

I look at him strange, I knew he knew French but not that well.

"You are my light." He whispered softly.