Lumière // h.s

[ s i x t y - t w o ]

A/n: I suggest you listen to Jessie J - Get Away during this chapter x

Cait's POV.

The following day, Harry was packed and leaving for Canada, I said goodbye at home a quiet kiss and tight hug that felt like our last. We hadn't spoken, I guess my words had shook him up. "I love you Cait Tomlinson." Were the last words he muttered before getting into the car.

I cried the entire night, I couldn't focus on anything but crying. I rang Gemma but she didn't pick up, I was glad in a way, the last thing I wanted to do was burden her and make her feel like she had to babysit me once again.

The following day, my catwalk rehearsals started. I met the other models i'd be working with, they weren't friendly.

They were more interested in whispering about me than to me, the sly looks and the mean questions hanging in the air.

She's only here because of her brother.

And because of who she's dating.

She's dating Harry Styles? unbelievable.

These were just few of what I overheard.

After rehearsals I headed to Gemma's, she gave me tea and sandwiches and talked me into feeling better, the second I was home the loneliness kicked in once again.

I stayed up that night searching for a place to live, somewhere not here. I found a few apartments near primrose hill, I booked some viewings and made myself some tea, I felt better already.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

The following two weeks carried on that way, i'd go to rehearsals, sometimes see Gemma if not I'd go home, sometimes I'd cry, sometimes I'd be okay and watch films. I hadn't tweeted or anything in that time span. I'd look on Harry's, see he was having a great time - he hadn't contacted me.

It hurt.

Today though, today was different. I was going to see my second apartment. I was pretty interested in this one, 2 bedrooms, spacious livingroom. It was completely modern throughout too.

"Cait, lovely to meet you, I'm Trisha."

I shake her hand with a polite smile. She looked around 30, red hair pinned up and a blue dress that was knee length, clipboard in on arm,her bag in another.

She talked me through the apartment, it was the ideal place. Perfect for me in fact.

"Correct me if I'm wrong," She smiled handing me over the paper work I needed. I didn't need anyone here with me to help me decide, I wanted this place.

"Um okay.."

I knew what was coming. 'You're Harry Styles' girlfriend, right?'

"You're a model, right?"

I was a little taken aback.

"Yeah, yeah I am." I smile.

"Thought so, my niece is trying to get into the business, she said she wants to be the next model like you, or Cara Delevingne."

"Wow,well, I hope she does get into it." I reply walking down the path to the entrance.

"So is that a done deal then?"

I nod, "I'll take it."

Trisha grins. "Perfect."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

I moved in on the friday, and the week after I spent moving myself in, Gemma helped when she could and Lottie came down too.

By the following Saturday I was just about set up, I'd spent the day sorting out the livingroom and decided it was a night of movies and Chinese food.

I got my plate and cutlery out ready when my doorbell rang. I walked excited assuming it was my Chinese only to be met by a certain Styles.

"Harry."

"Cait,"

"Welcome to my new place," I open my door allowing him to walk in. I retreat back to my sofa where he looks around at the foreign room.

"You really left."

"I told you i'd find my own place."

"Before we got together. I thought you were happy there."

I scoff. "Happy."

He sits beside me but i move away. "Cait, what's going on?"

"You've been in America for nearly a month and haven't once tried to contact me."

"I wanted to but-"

"But nothing," I interrupt.

"I.."

"I meant it harry,"

"Meant what?"

"If it doesn't get easier, we can't be together," I shake my head, tears falling down my face. "It hasn't got easier. It's not..its not easier," I gasp. "I can't.. I can't be with you anymore." I cry.

"No, you can't," He shakes his head confused at what I'm saying. "You can't give up on us because it's tough, you can't do this Cait."

"I'm not giving up, I'm letting go before it gets worse, before we start to resent each other."

"I could never resent you Cait." He takes my face in his hands but I close my eyes, I know that if I open them and look into his I'll fall into his trap, I'll kiss him and tell him I love him, not anymore.

"I know," I whisper.

"I love you Cait,"

"I love you too, but that can't fix us anymore. Nothing can." I reply, wiping my tears as he slowly stands up, tears pouring also down his face.

He wipes them before opening my door. "I bought you a house warming gift," He says quietly, a bag landing on my sofa before he leaves silently.

I open the bag to find a photo frame, in it a photo of Harry and I at dinner at the Empire State Building.

I clutch the photo to my chest as I sob, the entire world caving in on me in that exact moment.