My dearest K.

17.

17 June 2015

My dearest K.,

I know it has been two weeks I haven't written anything to you, but everything here has started to be really boring. People come and go to your house...all worn in black as if were sent from the ninth layer of hell. Their common expression is: "Please know I am here for you if you need anything". If you have understood anything from what I have told you in the last couple of letters, please explain to me also, because I think I have become dumb these days. They keep saying I am in shock because of your loss, but I am perfectly okay... in fact I haven't been so hopeful and positive in a while. I know you are on a mission and will come back to me as soon as it finishes and will never leave me again. What does it mean "because of K.'s loss"? You are safe and alive, I know this...I can feel your heartbeat inside me...your big green eyes reaching for my eyes...your hand tugging your hair while thinking of another question for me... your essence all around me.

Yesterday I overheard your mum talking to your dad...your team would be back today. "Our son would be home tomorrow," your mum said and started crying... I don't understand this woman's obsession with past simple when talking about you...as if you died and became part of the past. Her problem anyway. So after I heard them say this, I wanted to organize a welcome party, but since everybody here doesn't do anything else but cry and stare at the walls, I gave up. You would get bored to death anyway. I asked my mum to take me to the airport because you were coming, but she burst into tears and started her motivational speech for the 100th time this week: "Honey, I totally get you are shocked but don't you think this play lasted a little too long?" I didn't know we were playing...if I knew, I would concentrate more on winning. "It's damn hard I know, but you will just have to accept that K. won't ever be back, because...because he passed away on his last mission. I know he was your ultimate shot of happiness, but if I have learned something from this life, it is that the only things you can't stare at are sun and death...you will either get blind or dead." I wasn't paying attention anyway...I was just imagining a deep hole inside of my room where my mum could fall and shut up. My K. is the strongest and smartest guy on Earth, he didn't just pass away like the other cowards... besides, I would feel it if anything happened to you, so nothing to worry about.

This morning, I came to the airport. Somebody should take you from there, right? I came at 7 am, just in case you arrive early. Your team arrived at about 1 pm and I should say that they failed to hide the surprise and pain in their face when they saw me there. What did they think...that I would sit in my house's coach and wait? As excited as I was, I asked them for you and a death-like silence fell among us. I swear I saw Owen's eyes full of tears. He just murmured "I am sorry he couldn't make it" and rushed to go away as if I would kill him. Strange people...

You must have been with the other team, right? Owen told me that this was the only team, but I don't believe him, so I will be waiting here until you come with whichever team you want. I know you would come back to me even if you were sent to hell, so I won't give up on you either.

P.S. I am at gate 3, okay? Hurry up a bit please (I am getting hungry).

Forever yours,

D.