Broken Promise////Billie Eilish

10-Is this a joke and how could you?

      It has been 2 months since Billie left for tour. She's supposed to come back next week at least that's what she says. The first few weeks we called every night, but soon the calls were maybe once a week. If I called I would be sent to voicemail or my texts would be left on read. But if I missed a call or text from her she would be angry with me. She would facetime me every now and then. I would see the hickeys on her neck, but didn't say anything. I would confront her in person.

       I knew what she was doing. It was all over social media. I would spend hours just looking at the pictures of them online. As soon as she found out about the pictures online she told me I wasn't allowed to have social media anymore. We had gotten into a fight about it, in the end she won. I had no social media, at least none that she knew of. Our relationship was never public I didn't understand why, she just kept telling me she wasn't ready. It was a lot for me to take in, as soon as I found out I went back to my doctor to get my medication. She doesn't have to know that though.

Incoming facetime...

        "Hey baby! I miss you so much!" Her cheery voice said. I smile, "Yeah miss you too Bil." I said. She was talking and talking, but I paid no mind to what she was saying. I stared at her features and notice the dark marks on her neck. How can she just continue to act like it's not an issue. "Princess? Are you listening?" She says pouting. The nickname makes my heart flutter as I was about to respond I heard a voice. "Hey baby? What you doing?" A deep voice spoke, I knew who it was. As soon as the voice began the call ended.

Billie: sorry mamas. Ill call you back later okay?

      I ignore the text and get up from the bed. I had work in an hour I might as well just get ready. I grab my medications and take them. I feel like shit I can't continue to act like it doesn't hurt me when it really does. Does she think my feelings are a joke? I get ready and head off to work. I'm happy I work nine hours today it'll be a great distraction.

      I finally got home from work. It was a slow day, but nice regardless. I've been talking to my coworkers more and they actually seem like nice people. I think I should go out and try to make more friends, considering I don't have any, at least not anymore. I flop onto the bed and stretch. I pick up my phone to see multiple notifications. I have eight missed calls and five texts from Billie.

Billie: sorry mamas. Ill call you back later okay?
Billie: mamas?
Billie: y/n i swear if you dont answer my calls youre gonna get it
Billie: wtf are doing y/n! Answer the damn phone!
Billie: thats it. You're gonna get it.
Me: im sorry Billie i was at work
Billie: idc where you were. When i call or text you answer is that clear?
Me: yes
Billie: yes what?
Me: yes daddy
Billie: good. I have important things to do. Dont let this happen again. I love you babygirl
Me:love you too

      When she tells me she loves me it doesn't feel right. But I want to believe that she does. I want her to love me even if I know she won't. I love her and I wish I didn't. I toss my phone on the bed, you know what I'm gonna go to the club. Maybe meet some people. I go shower and change into a simple black dress. I smile with myself and head out.

     I make it in since Amanda was friends with the manager here we were allowed free pass. Flashing lights shine onto my face and loud music fills my ears. I walk to the bar and get a drink. I sit and look around, all of these people seem to be having fun. I turn back to my drink when someone sits in the stool next to me. I look over and see someone I never expected to see again. Alex. She smiles sadly at me and I frown. I get up ready to leave regretting my decision of going out. But she pulls me back, "y/n please." She says softly. "What do you want." I spit at her and yank my arm away.