apartment 101 | nick mara a.u

22. Memories Of You

Sorry for the bad grammars and mistakes in the writing. Wrote this at 1 am so....

Enjoy!

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I can't sleep, still tossing and turning with various thoughts running through my mind. The clock showed it's already 5 am. I'm not sleepy at all, I've tried to do things that usually make me feel sleepy but all of it failed to make me feel sleepy. I tried so hard not to take the pills, I've tried to drink milk which my mom said it helps to get me fall asleep when I was a kid.

The picture of Nick and another girl made me want to throw up, also the fact that I couldn't move when I saw that irritated me. It's like god tried to prove a point and hated to see me sleep peacefully tonight.

I don't know what took over me, but the next thing I know I took out a jacket and a pair of yoga pants. I put on my running shoes and grabbed my phone and headphone from the bedside table. I put on my headphone and turned the music on as I made my way out of the apartment. I locked the door then head to the elevator. It's still dark outside but somehow I don't really care. I stretched out in preparation to go jogging.

I started to jog without knowing where to go. After about ten minutes through it, I'm starting to think this is a really bad idea. The memory of those days when Nick and I always jog together around the blocks in the morning or after classes, comes running in my mind. My jogging pace got quicker, like I'm trying to runaway from my own thoughts. By now, it's no more a jogging, it's running.

A few minutes later, the Central Park comes into the view. Did I just run that far? I guess I am. I stopped at the nearest bench in the park and sat down. I'm breathing uncontrollably right now, and the next thing I know, a tear run down my cheeks. Did I just cry? Why am I crying?

"Hey, are you okay?" A woman on her late twenty approached me. She's wearing a running outfit, I guess she's doing a morning jog too.

"I'm fine. I don't even know why I'm crying." I said between sobs.

"Are you sure you're okay?" She asked again, now sitting down beside me with her arms around me. "Cause clearly you look like you're not okay."

"I'm fine, it's just when I stopped running I started to cry and I don't know why." I answered her as she kept comforting me.

"I don't know what you're going through, and it's up to you if you want to tell or not. But I've been in the exact same position as you're right now, all I'm going to say is, you seem like you're currently have a battle with yourself. And you have your feelings locked in a cage, you need to start letting it all out once in a while." She said reassuringly.

"I think I'm jealous seeing my roommate with another girl, it's weird because I'm in love with someone else and I never have a feeling for my roommate. He used to be a total douche anyway, why would I like him?" Those sentences blurted out of my mouth.

"Well, are you sure you're in love with this other person and not your  roommate? Cause there are two types of in love in this world, in love with the person or in love with the idea of you with that person." She said before getting up. "I got to go, I have to be at my office at 6.30 am, good luck."

By that she went back jogging then disappeared from my sight. What did she meant by in love with the idea of me with that particular person? Did she meant I might be only in love with the idea of me and Ezra together? Not in love with him as a person? Ugh. I hate these thoughts.

Nick's P.O.V

I heard the front door slammed closed, maybe that's Ezra leaving. I assumed that he's here cause I see Adeline last night with what I assume is his t-shirt on. I looked at the already passed out girl beside me. We didn't have sex, she passed out as we make out on the bed. I was tipsy but now all sobered up because of the lack of sleep.