My Twisted Love Affair [Completed]

Chapter 29 [EDITED]

Edited: 01/20/22

LIANA JEAN JADAONE - MADRIAGA

IT IS my brother's wedding, a special day for him. A confirmation that he needs to embrace the life without me. And the day, that I lost my hopes of being with him. Habang nakahiga ako dito sa hospital at pinapanood si Mama na makipag-usap sa doktor ay napapikit ako. Do I really need to lose everything just to wake up from my illusion? Napatingin ako sa pintuan, hinihintay na baka pumasok siya sa loob. Na baka nanatili siya kahit sa masakit na parte lamang ng buhay ko.

Pero wala, mag-isa lang ako. At the end of the day, I was left alone. Like how I was left alone that night. Like how I tried to keep my sanity and expected that he'll come. That after that dreadful night, after the storms and the clouds, I tried to wait. I was hoping that he will save me, but I ended walking alone and losing every bit of what's left. Now, here I am, waiting for him again, here I am, wanting to forget everything again just to be able to look at him and be happy in his eyes again. Pero sa bawat oras na wala siya, sa bawat minuto na hindi ko siya maramdaman sa aking tabi, unti- unting pumapasok sa utak ko.

Maybe, my life is really meant to push through without him. Maybe, what we have is really just a mistake that we need to forget. "Liana, kumusta ka na?" Lumapit sa akin si Mama at umupo sa aking tabi, hinawakan niya ang kamay ko.

Hindi ako nakasagot sa kanyang tanong, "Si---"

"Hindi na siya pinapunta ng Papa mo. It will be more stressful for you.' Alam na ni Mama ang aking itatanong sa kanya. Napalunok ako at hindi na lang sumagot. "Tama ka, Mama, wala nang dahilan pa kung itutuloy ko ang kagagahan ko." Giit ko sa kanya at saka ako mahinang ngumiti. "I just thought that it would be possible as long as we love each other. Pero mukhang mas mahalaga talaga ang sasabihin ng lahat kesa sa pagmamahalan namin." Dagdag ko pa sa kanya.

I heard her sigh. "What is your plan right now?"

I looked at her and forced myself to smile. Dahil ngayon wala akong magagawa kung 'di ang pwersahin ang sarili ko na gawin ang lahat nang mag-isa. If I only get my head straight when I moved out, it would not be as painful as this. I still don't understand why these things have to happen to me. Pero sabi nga nila, baka kailangan lang talaga natin magising sa masakit na paraan. Na baka para makita natin ang totoo at ang tama, kailangan mawala nang lahat sa atin.

"Kagaya ng plano niyo ni Daddy. This feelings and emotions will soon subside, lalo na kung magfo-focus na ako sa career ko, at si Seb, magfo-focus na sa pamilya nila ni Nicole." Sagot ko sa kanya. "I thought about this the whole night. I want to start over, Mom. I want to forget about us." Giit ko muli sa kanya habang nakatingin sa bintana.

"Kung 'yan ang gusto mo. I will talk to your Dad, we will support you in everything, specially on how you want to start over right now." Sagot niya sa akin, ang sabi ni Mama ay pwede na akong lumabas ng hospital bukas. They advised me to rest for a month to fully heal. Ang sabi ni Mama ay bumalik muna ako sa bahay namin pero tumanggi ako, I decided to go on a job hunt after two weeks of healing and asked my Mom if they had friends who are looking for staff. Pakiramdam ko mas lalo akong mababaliw kung maiiwan akong nakahiga lang at mag-iisip. My savings are still enough to help me get by for at least three months. This time I will make sure to prioritize my healing and use my brain more.

natigil kami sa pag-uusap nang may pumasok sa pintuan. Si Terrence, may dala-dala itong isang box ng dunkin donuts at isang malaking plastic na mayro'ng mabigat na laman. He smiled at me, "May dala akong arrozcaldo at choco butternut." He non chalantly said, lumapit siya sa center table at inilapag ang dala-dala niya.

"Bakit ka nandito? Wala ka bang pasok?" tanong ko sa kanya. Tumingin siya sa akin, "I took a week leave."

"Isang linggo? Bakit?"