Sweetness

20

Arthur hadn't really slept since that night and it had caught up to him. Part of him wished Lord Tennysen woke up the morning after with full memory of the incident, that at least might've given Arthur some closure. Instead, he awoke as Merlin had said he would, as though nothing had happened.

This, of course, confirmed not only that his lover had been in fact a sorcerer all this time, but that he knew how to harness his power.

The whole thing made Arthur want to scream.

It felt as though in one careless impulse Merlin had exposed himself and his motives. Clearly his objectives were malicious because he had not offered the fact that he had magic, when they had spoken frankly about the topic and Arthur had explained his stance and disgust at the prospect of magic being wholy evil.

If he truly trusted Arthur and had no intentions of hurting him, this would have been an easy enough thing to confide in him, especially with the intimacy they had reached within their relationship.

However, this was not the case.

Arthur thought back on all of the things he had said to Merlin, which he would gladly take back if he could.

He rubbed his eyes at the thought. His feelings of remorse for the relationship were largely being over shadowed by the feelings self-hatred.

Arthur vowed to himself that he would never again make the mistake of allowing someone get that close to him. He has too much to lose. There were too many lives at stake.

It had been three days since the incident, and people were starting to take notice of his difference. There had not been a word or even a glimpse of his former manservant.

Despite the small obstacle of his insomnia, he allowed himself to get lost in his work. It was the only productive way to push all of this out of his mind and move on. He trained harder than he ever had before. He started entertaining war strategies that were previously lost on him. Unfortunately, the idleness of night did not allow this kind of distraction.

Most nights he felt the need to get out of bed instead of lying there uselessly while sleep would not come to him. This often brought his mind to that very first night in the kitchen. Then he would wonder if Merlin had somehow planned that, somehow whispered in his ear, convincing him to get food.

Arthur thought about how every sweet memory of the last few weeks could have been poisoned by magic.

One evening after dinner, Morgana summoned him into her chamber for a glass of wine. The prince knew he would catch hell if he refused.

He knocked on the large wooden door.

"Enter."

She was sitting innocently on a seat next to the burning hearth with a half filled goblet in her hand.

"I hope you don't mind, I started without you."

Arthur said nothing. He sat down in the seat positioned next to her. His glass awaited him on a table set in between.

"What is this about, Morgana."

"What do you think this is about?" She looked at him with calm eyes. Her pale face was already twinged with red from drink.

Again, he didn't respond. She gazed thoughtfully at him.

"Gwen and I talk often. I know it's unnecessary... but, I see her as a dear friend more so than a chambermaid," Morgana continued, "most recently, I've learned that your manservant has been residing in her quarters. Actually, I've heard of little else." She took a drink.

Arthur looked into his goblet, not really wanting to drink, but wanting to forget this conversation before it had even concluded.

"What of it?"

Morgana was surprised at this response.

"I just find it interesting how after all these weeks with an Arthur I'd never seen before, someone who laughs and is happy, can all of the sudden change in such a polar manner. The events line up with Merlin's absence, so correct me if I'm wrong, but there seems some sort of connection."

"You don't know anything about it, Morgana." He hissed.

"Yes, I do believe that is the reason for my inquiry."

The last thing Arthur wanted to do was to drudge up all of those memories that he had worked so hard to lay to rest.

"Yes, well... I no longer require his services."

But maybe she would offer him solace instead of disgust.

She sat there, disappointed. "Well, if there is ever a point when you would like to talk about it, or anything at all, I'm ready to listen."

Neither one of them moved.

Finally, Arthur spoke. "I believe that he was attempting to take Camelot."

Morgana let out an audible laugh.

"I don't believe we are talking about the same Merlin," she calmed herself, "Arthur, your friend is hardly a mastermind. What could possibly lead you to believe this?"

"The boy has magic... and he knows how to use it."

Morgana had a serious look on her face. She lowered her glass to the table.

"Did he use it on you?"

"It's hard to tell... but he used on Tennysen."

She raised a hand to her mouth.

"He... he was spying on us in the woods, and he startled us, and Merlin made him sleep." Arthur unsurely glanced at her. He wanted to check that her expression was not that of revulsion. He was thankful that she did not even ask as to what his purpose was being in the woods. "He did not mean for me to find out this way, probably even at all. I suspect he was... charming me into submission..."

There was silence.

"Arthur, I'm sorry..." she reached out her hand in effort to console Arthur, but he shrugged it off. "I will say this once. I do not believe that the boy meant you any harm. I think that you should speak with him before condemning hi-"

"What good will that do?" Arthur stood abruptly. "Even if he manages to persuade me of his innocence, there will always be some part of me that has doubts."

He could tell that nothing more was being said, so he left.