Fuckboyish

TEN

I leaned in too and as our lips were basically already touching. I heard a loud noise, and Jake probably did too, making us jump.

Every time when we are about to kiss, stuff like this happens. It's so annoying! I really want to know what he tastes like.

"Were you gonna kiss?" I suddenly saw Zac shining his flashlight under his face.

"Fuck you" Jake sighs at Zac.

"Nah bro, you fuck her" Zac winked with a smirk. I was basically sweating as I felt really embarrassed for some reason.

"Go back to sleep, you're drunk" Jake tells Zac.

"Wanna go outside?" Jake whispered in my ear. I looked at Zac, which seemed to have passed out again. I looked back at Jake and nodded with a smile. We sneaked out through the backdoor and I just awkwardly stood next to Jake in the backyard.

"So.." Jake spoke. His voice was loud, yet really soft.

"Sooo..." I awkwardly continue. Jake kept staring at me in my eyes. I felt his fingers touch my hands, and pull me closer to him. He stroked my hair back and just looked into my eyes, which felt like forever.

Jake cupped my face in his hands and pressed his lips on mine. His lips were so soft, but this somehow didn't feel right. This was my first kiss after Jace. It seems as if I'm not ready for any of it.

I started focusing on how Jake gently grabbed my waist and moved his fingers over it, making me feel so good. Once I felt his tongue touching mine, I gasped and pushed Jake away from me.

"What?" Jake asks me in shock. I didn't want to tell him why, it would sound ridiculous. So instead, I shook my head and turned around.

"Jayde" Jake sighs while running up to me and closing the door I was about to open.

"What's wrong?" He asks me.

"Was I moving too fast?" He continues. I shook my head.

"No, it's not you" I smile at Jake.

"Was it because of the jokes earlier?" He asks, making me giggle.

"No, I'm just not ready for this" I said while looking down. I went from hating Jake, to having serious feelings I think. I'm not sure, but the things he did and said, the way how he would gently hold me made me melt. And he's one of the hottest guys on planet earth, ugh. His hair, his eyes, his nose, his jawline, even his tattooed arms and body, the way he dresses. I knew for a fact that I was starting to like him, and I hated it. Because every time I look at Jake, I see Jace. Even the name was alike, everything was alike. And I was feeling guilty, because I don't want to drag him through what happened in the past.

"Are you referring to Jace?" Jake asks me. I quickly shook my head. Because I know that he wouldn't understand it anyway.

"Good, because that would be ridiculous" Jake suddenly spat which made me raise my eyebrows.

"What got to you?" I ask Jake.

"Because, if it would involve Jace, then it means that you don't know how to move on" Jake says.

"That gives you no right to call it ridiculous" I explain.

"Yes it does. What if I would want to date you? I couldn't because you'd still be thinking about him. I don't know what he's like, or what he looks like, but I know for a fact that we're nothing alike. So if that's what you think, fucking stop" Jake said.

"You're right. If that's how you'll be running your mouth to me, then it's better you fuck off from me" I angrily tell Jake.

"Jayde don't do this" I could hear Jake from outside sigh as I opened the door and walked in.