Fuckboyish

THIRTY TWO

"You still look gorgeous" Daniel says while staring at the stitches in my eyebrow. I just stare out of the window.

"Are you okay?" He asks me.

"It burns but I'm tryna play it cool" I explain. I hear him giggle.

"Is my baby in pain?" Daniel asks in a sad tone.

"Yes" I pout.

"Let's go to my place so I can spoil the fuck out of you" Daniel offers.

"I don't know. I really think my mom should know about this" I tell him.

"Okay, what will you tell her? Uh, hi mom! I was busy having sex with Daniel, when Zac suddenly walked in, saw me naked-"

"Okay hold on" I quickly interrupt him.

"First of all, that's not how I speak. Second, I'm not that stupid to tell her how my sexlife has been going lately. Maybe we can tell her I fell on the ground or something" I suggest.

"We?" Daniel asks in confusion.

"Yes. We are a couple now, so it's we" I smirk.

"And I want to tell them that you're my boyfriend now" I continue.

✩ ✩ ✩

"That's amazing! Congratulations!" My mom cheers.

"You did a great job sweetie, he's handsome" my mom whispers at me, causing me to widen my eyes.

"I can't believe- mom!" I whisper back.

"But how did you manage to land onto the ground?" My mom asks me while sipping her tea.

"Daniel was teaching me how to skateboard, mom, if you don't mind us, we're gonna go upstairs because I need to talk to my new boyfriend for a second" I say while grabbing Daniel's hand.

"Hold up!" My mom yells. I let out a sigh while turning around, knowing exactly how she was about to embarrass me.

"Never forget to use prot-"

"Bye mom!" I yell as I rush up the stairs, towards my bedroom. I close the door and stare at Daniel.

"Cute bedroom" he smirks.

"Shut up" I say while getting undressed. Daniel just stares at me.

"I'm gonna get this blood off me, again" I sigh. I quickly grab some clothes and hop into the bathroom. I turn on the water and strip out of my clothes. I stare at the water, basically questioning my whole life at this point. Why me? Why did Luke decide to come back? How did I end up with Daniel? Most important of all, why did Jake kill Luke? Will I even see Jake?

My tears started rolling down my cheeks. What if I never could have the possibility to hug him for one last time and tell him that I do care about him, even though he has hurt me too many times. I miss him. He reminded me of Jace, and I just didn't want to see it all end.

I got snapped out of my thoughts once I heard knocking on my bathroom door.

"Are you okay in there?" I hear Daniel ask. I quickly wipe my tears away an clear my throat.

"Yes, why?" I ask him. I wanted to be alone though. I want my old life back, the one where Jace was involved. Not a single day after his death has passed by without me thinking about him. If I could do anything to get him to be with me now, even if it would've been for a minute, man I'd even throw my own life away.

"The way I'm living is trash anyway" I try whispering.

"What?" Daniel asks, making my heart skip a beat. Oops. That came out harder than I thought.

✩ ✩ ✩

"We'll get him out, okay?" Daniel tries comforting me.

"Okay" I respond, after not wanting to explain my feelings for the 600th time.

I hop into my bed and wait tor Daniel to do the same. I stare as he slowly starts taking off his shirt. He went to the lamp and turned it off. I could hear him take off his pants before joining me in my bed.

What do I say? What do I do? He is my boyfriend now, I should be able to trust him, right? I don't know, this whole situation has got me fucked up.

"Uhm, Daniel?" I sigh. I could feel him stare at me.

"Yes?" He asks.

"Have you ever had this feeling like you didn't know what was going on? Like, did you ever feel like you rushed yourself into a situation, just because you don't know any better?" I sigh.

"What?" Daniel asks in confusion, probably knowing what I was trying to say.

"What I'm saying is that- never mind actually" I sigh as I turn my back to him.

"Dude" Daniel sighs.

"What's the matter with you? Why are you acting like this?" Daniel asks me. I don't even know if he's the one. I never expected myself to feel this fucked up, when I dated Jake, I wanted Daniel, and now it's the other way around. Can't I just have both?

"Seriously Jay, I've been trying my best to keep you satisfied. Help me out, I just don't know what else to do" he sighs as I felt him sit up. I turned around to see him sitting on my bed, with his back turned to me.

He's so much more gentle with me. Jake probably would've been aggressive towards me.

Do I say " I love you " now?

Oh my fucking god Jayde. No you fucking DON'T!

"Daniel?" I ask in fear.

"Don't be scared to talk to me, you know I can't get mad at you" Dankel speaks. I take a look at his muscles on his back. I slowly get up and sit behind him, hugging him from behind while we stare out my window.

"Am I doing something wrong?" Daniel asks me. I quickly shake my head.

"You're doing perfect. I just had a long day, I probably hit my head too hard or something" I joke while giving him a soft kiss in his neck.

"Let's go to sleep, I'm sorry for what I said, forget about it I'm just clearly not thinking straight" I explain.

"Is this whole Jake thing freaking you out?" He asks me. I let out a sigh.

"Well obviously" I answer.

"I can tell that you feel guilt. Even though it's not your fault" Daniel tells me.

"I didn't really want to talk about it, that's why I apologized, or do you not get that hint?" I ask him in an annoyed tone.

"Jayde I'm not trying to play games with you. If you've still got Jake on your mind, you need to tell me. I'm nobody's second choice" Daniel tells me. I just gasped out of shock.

"Are you kidding me?" I ask him.

"Is it surprising that I don't want to be your second ch-"

"No, you fucking idiot. It is surprising that you think, that I still like Jake" I tried my best not to yell, since my parents were home.

"Oh come on, I'm not stupid. I know exactly how girls work. And I can tell by the way you act and talk, you still have him on your mind" he says.

Tears started rolling down my cheeks as I didn't know what to say. I don't want to lose Daniel as my boyfriend, and now I won't be able to explain that to him.

✩ ✩ ✩

HELLO! 5K reads already! This is crazy y'all! First of all, I'd like to apologize for not keeping y'all updated. I've been busy writing something else lately, and I'm not sure if I should release it just yet. It literally takes me days to think of a chapter, and to fill all these pages for this book. I'm trying to finish it for y'all but writers block is on my ass lol. Anyway, I'll try to update more since we're all in quarantine.

Second, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR 5K READS!

Please take care of yourselves and BE SAFE!!!! I LOVE YOU GUYS!!!!