Until His Last Breath

Chapter 18

"Don't worry, you'll get through this"

As he uttered those words, it was like a shattered glass hitting me. It's like hundreds of knives stabbed my heart in just a blink.

His words that made me alive kills me. His words that gave me hope hurts me. His words that I trust broke me.

It was like, I was the fly and he was the light, he was so attractive that I forgot how it hurts to go near him.

As he said those words, he slowly release my hand and walked away.

He was slowly killing me inside, he slowly cut off what I wanted to build since then. He was slowly hurting me inside.

Oh how I wish he'd stay, how I wish he take back his words, how I wish he never let go. But the truth hits me, the truth made me realize that...

He never really hold on

And that hurts, I thought he likes me, I thought he cares, I thought he was the one.

Oh right! Thoughts could be deceiving too. Thoughts are foolishness, and I am so fool enough to believe in those.

Why? Was I not the one meant for him? Am I not enough? Is something wrong with me?

I didn't realize that tears flooded my face and my eyes still looking at his back walking away.

I was so shocked to see him fell down and a guys built was walking towards me, my eyes seems blurry with all the tears.

He took my hand and dragged me away from this place.

"I told you not to fall, what did you do?!" Shawn said angrily.

I couldn't answer him, I was just crying and crying.

I heard him sighed. Then he suddenly hugged me.

"It hurts to see you're hurt" he said as he tightened his hug.

He released me and held me again in my hand and we went home.

All night, I didn't eat, I didn't sleep. All I did was cry and cry.

~~~

Few days have passed by and I'm still locked up in my room, I never eaten, washed myself or even looked at myself, I think I seem so broke.

I'm here without you baby
But you're still
On my lonely mind
I think about you baby
And I dream about you all the time

I'm here without you baby
But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight
Is only me

The only noise that covers the room was this song.

There's only one person and one person only that I'm longing for... Him.

He showed me how to love and how to be loved.

And he also showed me how to hurt, and how to be hurt.

That day, that day which I thought would bring me back to life suddenly burried me deep down.

That man, the man I was hoping for, the man I loved left me in pieces.

What's the point of breathing when he's not here by my side?

What's the point of being alive when he killed me that day?

What's the point of loving when there's no one to love?

What's the point of me when I don't have him?