enough

32

I woke up full of energy being in LA being somewhere I was happy and not alone physically. It was 6 am and the sun was barely peaking. I tiptoed into the kitchen not wanting to wake Cody or V.
"Good morning, "
"Jesus fuck, " I say startled by V sitting on the couch in the dark.
"Sorry, it's too early for lights gotta have my coffee, "
"Oh yeah I get it, " I pour myself a cup and sit beside her on the couch.
"Well while we have some time away from Cody, tell me about yourself Astrid, " V smiled tilting her head slightly
"Well, I'm from Milwaukee, went to school in Atlanta ended up dropping out. I got married and divorced, went back home finished school. Now I'm here." I kept it short no details just wanting to go over the surface
"I don't wanna get into your business, and I understand if you don't want talk about it, " I could hear the words before she even said them, "but what happened with you and Yelich," there it is.
"It just didn't work, yeah he's a great guy he just wasn't my guy." I dropped my eyes staring at my coffee not want her to see the look in my eyes.
"Well, your still young, and you're gorgeous. Your guy whoever that will be is right around the corner." She puts her hand on mine making me smile. "I think I found mine." my jaw drops at her words and I try not to scream with excitement
"Tell me everything you mean by that, " I sit my coffee down giving her my full attention.
"So it was around our 2nd week of being together and I went to a Dodger game with some family members. I kept insisting that he wait to meet my parents but he just wanted to so bad, " that was such a Cody thing to do insisting on meet everyone who means something or just anything to you. "But they were he interacted with all of them. It was just different, I felt so happy seeing him hug my mom and shake my dad's hand. My sister brought her son and Cody gave him a hug and signed his jersey." My smile grows at the idea of Cody and a child. "He seemed so natural with him, so happy." my heart grows at thought of Cody and that little boy. Cody loved kids, you could have been waiting for 6 hours and a little kid walked up just now and Cody would get to that kid first. We spent many hours talking about kids about how many, when, what names. Cody got baby fever so bad once he offered me $25,000 to be a surrogate for him.
"Well let me just say the way he's talked about you. He cares about you so much, he loves you." her cheeks redden and I put my hand on her knee smiling.
"Hey stop stealing my girlfriend, " A sleepy Cody walks to us leaning down and giving V a kiss. Watching the interaction just makes my heart soar. Man, they were in love and so many ways. Cody deserved someone who had the same look in their eyes as he did.

★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★

It was game one NLCS against the brewers I had watched all the games for the past few years up to the world series. I was excited to be here in person for something like this, and so close to the team I'm rooting for. I felt guilty not rooting for my home team but hey it's the Dodgers.
"How about when they come out here you go up and get something to eat with V, " Cody yelled to me throwing the ball back.
"Why would I do that?" I put the ball in my pocket and toss Kiké's glove to him.
"Well he's gonna be here and I don't want him bothering you or getting you upset, "
"I'll be fine, I wanna see Lo and Ryan too." I nudge him making him smile. "But I will go get some food I'm hungry, " he hits my arm and I run over to V to ask if she wants to come with.

"So are you gonna talk to him? He should be here in 20 minutes, "
"If he talks to me then yes, and I'm not gonna hide like Cody wants me to. I'm not a little bitch, " I say snarky sipping my drink making V laugh.
"Well good cause your bad bitch and ain't scared of no man, "
"No she ain't, " V looks last me smiling and I turn around as her a voice I could pick out of a lineup.
"LO!" I jump up giving him a hug.
"How's it been Merlot?" he gave me a squeeze and I feel like everything bad, messed up, or sad was drained out of me only left with the happiness. 
"Good, just got a lot better with you here."
"I'm gonna go back to the field you two catch up, " V put her hand on my shoulder sliding by us. I smile mouthing see ya to her. I smiled at lo taking a deep sigh and feeling the tears come up.
"Hey Astrid it's ok, " Lo wrapped his arms around me just holding me as I cried into his shoulder. I didn't realize how much I missed him. Not just him but, home he made feel like I was home I didn't know I needed that right now.
"Man I just I missed you, " I pulled away wiping my eyes seeing his huge smile.
"Why don't you come back to Milwaukee for the rest of the year? You can see your dad and brother's, your friends, see Jenny and the kids." I held the thought for a second. Christian would be in Malibu in the postseason so I wouldn't have to worry about him just seeing family and friends no guys no worries.
"Let me think about it, and if all of a sudden I'm on your doorstep you'll know." I make him laugh which made me laugh even harder.

★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★

"I can't fucking believe this, " V whispers loud enough over the cheering it was game 1 of NLCS and we were in 12th inning the score was 10-10 this pitching was fantastic but the hitting was even better. Home run after home run each team scoring in every inning. This was game one what would the rest be.
"Number #35 Cody Bellinger, " I felt V reach her hand over to mine and we both held each other tight. Corey had just doubled and now it was Cody's turn to save the day. Pitch 1 ball, pitch 2 strike, next pitch a ground ball to the left-field corner. Corey scores Christian can't grab the ball Cody rounds second now rounding 3rd heading home and the call is out at home and the 13th now into the 12th. The whole crowd erupts in cheers, 3 outs and game one was ours.

First up to bat was Cain hitting a pop up caught by Beaty. Next was Keston strikeout. Now Christian, God my nerves we're through the roof if anyone would homer it would be Christian. I grabbed V hand back squeezing the hell out of it. First pitch ball, second pitch ball, holy shit could he walk him, 3rd pitch hit right to center field caught by Joc. The 3rd out I couldn't even believe me eyes. 11-10 13 innings game 1. Dodgers win.
Everyone jumped out screaming me and V were crying wanting to run onto the field with the boys who were celebrating. I looked to them trying to catch one of there eyes but catching Christians there was a pain in his eyes that drained all the excitement out of me. A pain like 'how could you cheer for them, how could you cheer for my loss, ' I turned away smiling and chewing with V once again. But only seeing that pain in the back of my head.