A New Chapter

Chapter 21

Chapter 21:

///Phoenixx's POV///

-2 weeks later-

Its 2 in the morning and I can't sleep because It's been 2 weeks since my mom killed herself. I'm still pretty upset about, to be honest I'm still a mess. I barely eat, barely focus on my school work, and I can't sleep. I just lay there in bed with the image of my mom hanging from the ceiling fan in my guest room. Sometimes I feel like it's my fault she's dead. I should've had Connor go upstairs with her or called Jc and had him stay up there with her. But I didn't and now she's gone forever. Connor thinks I should just stop going to class until I feel 100% better but I refuse to stop. I feel like if I stop going it'll disappoint my parents. I want to graduate college and become the most amazing Forensic Anthropologist there is. It'll make my parents proud if I graduate. "Connor are you awake?" I whisper quietly and he moans. "I am now." He says as he rolls over and looks at me. "I can't sleep. I could of prevent her from killing herself." "It's not your fault honey." "Yes it is.. I should've had you gone upstairs with her." I say as tears start to fall down my cheeks. "You had no idea she was gonna kill herself honey." "I should've know though... She had a breakdown Connor." I say as I sit up straight and just start to cry even harder. Connor then sits up and hugs me tightly. "It's not your fault at all." "I feel like it is." I say crying even harder. He then wipes my tears away for me. "Go get a drink of water and calm down. Then come back to bed okay?" "Stay awake." I say as I stand up from the bed. "I'll try but no promises." He stays as he lays back down. I then go downstairs to the kitchen. I grab a water bottle and take a sip. I grab my phone and call Alexis. She's probably not gonna answer me since its 2 am. And I'm right she doesn't answer. I sigh and lock my phone. I grab my water bottle and walk upstairs. I decide to go check on Zada. She came home a few days ago. She stayed at Alexis' house for a few days until I felt a little better. I then quietly walk into her room. Her doll is on the floor and her blanket is half off. I walk over to her and pick up her doll. I put it between her arms and then cover her with her blankets. I then kiss her on the cheek. "I love you baby girl." I whisper into her ear. I then leave her room and walk into the bathroom. I turn on the light and look at myself. I then start to break down in tears. I grab a razor and I then start to cut myself. I just can't handle it anymore. Warm blood starts to drips down my arm. I look down and put the razor away. I clean up the blood off my arm. I put a bunch of bracelets on so Connor doesn't see. I then leave the bathroom and then walk back into me and Connors room. I take one more sip of my water and then put it on the dresser. I look over at Connor and he's sleeping. I crawl back into bed and put my head on his chest. I close my eyes and try to fall back asleep.

///Connors POV///

I wake up to the sun beaming through the blinds. I open my eyes and see Phoenixx sleeping still with her head on my chest. I gently move her head trying my best not to wake her up. I then stand up from the bed and look over at the clock. It's 10:30, I should probably go see if Zada's up. I quietly leave the room so I don't wake up Phoenixx. I walk to Zada's room and open the door. To my surprise she's still sleeping. She's normally up before us. She usually stays in her room until me of Phoenixx gets her. I walk over to her and bend down next to her. "Jellybean it's time to wake up." I say as I gently shake her. She opens her eyes and looks at me. "I don't feel good daddy." She says as she sits up straight. "What's wrong jellybean?" I say and she points to her stomach. "Your tummy hurts?" "Yes daddy." She says and I feel her forehead. She feels really warm. "I'll be right, I'm gonna go get mommy. Lay back down okay?" I say and she lays back down. I recover her and leave her room. I go back to our room and Phoenixx is still sleeping. "Phoenixx, wake up." I say gently shaking her. She opens her eyes and moans. "Let me sleep." "I think Zada's sick. She told me her stomach hurts and she's really warm." I say and she sits up straight. She then jumps out of the bed and goes into the bathroom. She then grabs a thermometer. "Come on." She says as she leaves the room. I follow her into Zada's room and she's still laying down. "Sit up straight honey." Phoenixx says as she sits on the edge of Zada's bed. Zada sits up and Phoenixx then puts the thermometer in her ear. It beeps and she looks at it. "She has a temperature of 102.4, stay with her. I'm gonna get medicine and some juice for her." "I'm cold mommy." "And more blankets." She says as she leaves her room. "Daddy hold me." "Aren't you cold honey?" "HOLD ME!!!" She screams at the top of her lungs. I pick her up and sit down on her bed. She wraps her arms around my neck. "Daddy my tummy really hurts." "I know honey, why don't you lay down?" "I want you to hold me daddy." "How about this, you lay down and I'll lay down next you okay?" "Okay daddy." She says and I put her back in her bed. She covers herself with her blanket and I lay down next to her. "Daddy?" "Yes honey?" "What were those marks on mommy's wrist under her bracelets?" Zada says and I sit up straight. "What do you mean?" "There were marks that were red daddy." "I'll be right back okay?" I say as I get up from her bed. I leave her room and start to walk to the steps. As I'm walking towards the stairs I see Phoenixx walking upstairs. "I know I was taking long. Jc called me." She says as she starts to walk pass me but I grab her wrist and stop her. "Phoenixx. Let me see your wrist." "Why.." "Zada saw marks. Let me see." "Okay..." She says slowly has she takes off her bracelets. She hands my her wrist and I look at it. There has to be at least 7 cuts on her wrist. "When did you do this?" "This morning.." "Phoenixx." "I'm sorry. I will never do it again. I promise." "Promise?" "Yes, I'm gonna go give this to Zada." She says as she walks towards her room. "I'll be in our room." I say as I walk to our room. I grab my phone and play on it while I wait for Phoenixx.