Clace - TMI AU

21

Clary paced up and down the library for a good ten minutes debating whether or not she should approach Jace. She recalled flinching away from him when he came to find her after she'd been kidnapped by Jonathan and remembered the hurt that flashed in his eyes, breaking her heart. She wondered if he would forgive her for believing it was Jace taunting her. Eventually she decided to go find him and threw open the library door to see Jace standing there, his hand outstretched. He dropped it immediately. Clary's heart rate quickend.
"Hi," She said, surprised at how steady her voice was. Her hands had started to tremble as she shoved them into her back pockets.
"Hey, erm I was just looking for Alec."
He looked unsure. Clary's throat tightened.
"Oh he erm, he just left with Magnus and Simon."
"Okay, well I'm just going out to get some food, do you want anything? You haven't eaten sinc- Since that night and runes can only help so much." He avoided her gaze.
"Oh, oh, I haven't really thought about it. Now that you mention it I am quite hungry, I'll come with you. If that's alright with you?" She added hastily.
"Yeah, you must need some fresh air anyway after being cooped up inside for so long."
"Yeah,"
Jace began to walk away. He turned to see Clary standing there. "You coming?"
She hurried after him. They walked most of the way in silence. Clary stole a sideways glance at Jace. He had his hands in his pockets and his shoulders were tense, his head was bent forward as he walked.
She wanted to asked him what he was thinking about but decided against it.
They went into Taki's and Jace slid into a booth. Clary followed suit. She picked up a menu and studied it, even though she practically knew it off by heart. Someone came to take their order and Clary ordered random items from the menu whilst Jace ordered for himself and Isabelle, requesting for hers to be boxed up to go. The waiter then left and the silence returned. Eventually she decided to break the silence, "Thank you."
Jace looked up momentarily confused, "For what?"
"For everything. For saving my life and always being there for me and protecting me.
And for helping Simon. He told me, about the ascension and how the whole thing was your idea."
"Well you care about Simon and it would've been important for you therefore it's important to me. As for the rest of it I guess that's what you do for people you love."
Clary sucked in a breath and her heart skipped a beat.
"You love me?" She whispered incredulously.
Jace's eyes widened as he registered what he'd just said.
"Well you have been brought up kinda like my sister-" he began and broke off. Clary felt her heart sinking as he took a deep breath, "Clary, I've been in love with you since the moment I met you. You were different to anyone else I'd ever met. I thought that my feeling would go away if I dated around but they never did. I was never interested in any of the other girls I dated. But I never approached you in, that way because I always thought you saw me as a brother, like you do Alec and that you weren't interested in me. I thought I could ignore my feeling but after that night when you asked me to stay with you I knew then that I was actually in love with you and it wasn't just a crush. And I didn't know how you felt about me but I had to try, and I did try and then you got kidnapped. And the worst part was when you flinched away from me, I thought it was because I kissed you, forced myself onto you but then I saw the demon and I was angry, so angry. But not at you, at Sebastian. For using my feelings for you against you and using them to hurt you because I would never do that."
They sat in silence for a while as Kaelie brought their food and left.
"Clary please say something."
"I'm sorry," she said and the look on Jace's face cut at her heart. "I'm sorry that I flinched away from you and that I believed it was you who hurt me. Deep down I knew it wasn't you but he knew things that only we knew about each other. I hate myself for what I did that night and wish I had seen sense. I've always known that you would never hurt me and the fact that I hurt you in the way that I did breaks my heart. The truth is I love you too. I've loved you since I met you. You were like a drug, the more time I spent with you the more I couldn't get enough of you. But seeing you with those other girls I decided to try dating to see if I'd feel differently about you. But I don't and I never will because I love you, and I'm sorry." A single tear slipped out from Clary's eye. Jace scrambled around to booth to sit next to Clary and grabbed her hands.
"Never apologise for something like that. It's not your fault. If anything it's my fault, I showed him how I felt by treating him like crap. And hey," he put his hand against her cheek and wiped the tear away, "For what it's worth, I'm glad you don't feel differently."
She laughed and leaned her cheek into his palm. He slowly pulled her into a kiss. When they broke apart she nuzzled against him.
"You know, after everything that happened I didn't want to see you. I couldn't face you, not after it all. The way he manipulated our feelings for each other I just didn't know what to do. I didn't think you wanted to see me either. Even though I don't know what happened I thought it was still my fault, I still do."
"I don't blame you, I only blame Jonathan and Valentine."
Jace nodded.
"What's happens now?" She asked softly.
"I'm not sure, I guess we just go where the wind takes us."
They ate their dinner as she spoke excitedly about Simon's ascension and when they were done they walked home hand in hand under the twilight.
And in those moments, though was still so much to worry about she was truly the happiest she'd ever been. Jonathan was still out there waiting, plotting his next move. But sitting there with Jace, talking about all the amazing things to come - their relationship, Simon's ascension, their family - nothing else mattered.
Jonathan was still the worst and most terrifying threat they'd ever faced, but she knew with Jace at her side she could handle anything.