Shining Star (BoyxBoy)

14

Pierce's POV

'Depression is weighing on me

I ask myself why

Is it best I die than stay alive?

Looked through my window and saw death peaking

Then I realised something's leaking

My wrists are bleeding

And it's too late...

A razor has taken my life alongside my own fate

As I reach for the light, I see him

He tells me it isn't my time

He sends me back into his arms

How could I've been so blind?'

This was a poem I had written about Tyler. He saved me. I probably would not even be on this good green Earth if he wasn't around.

I contemplated suicide for a very long time, especially during the time I was still figuring my own sexuality out.

What I had done to Tyler and Tris was deplorable, and nobody should have to be forcefully put into that kind of situation. I don't even know why they like me so much, I'm just an average person. There is nothing special about me. No stand-out features or personality traits, I'm just...me.

As I sat on my bed with the poem I had just read in my hands, written down sloppily with pencil, I thought about what exactly led me to write this poem. I'm not even that artistic of a person.

About a year ago, when I met Tris, things started to change for me. Sure, Tyler's always been there, but he just never intrigued me until now. Tris is smart, cute and shy, all characteristics that I love and value; Tyler on the other hand, is funny, fierce and sexy.

Logically, Tyler would be the obvious choice, but thinking about it carefully, there were some downsides to being romantically involved with him. He has a shockingly low self-esteem, and always puts himself down, then makes it out to be a joke. He has also displayed symptoms of bipolar disorder. At school, he would often insult people who he thought disrespected him in any way, and sometimes it would get physical, and we would have to stop him. He doesn't think it is a problem though.

Tris, on the other hand, always overthinks things, and often ruins things for himself because of how he thinks. He's also kind of a bummer, especially when the rest of us (Amy, Tyler and I) try to have fun. Plus, he's only confused. When I kissed him in the car a few weeks ago, there was an immense amount of hesitation in the way he moved his lips against mine. He also shuddered when I touched his skin while we were kissing, telling me that he was either nervous or disgusted.

I guess I put myself in this situation when I acted the way I acted with the two of them. Amy won't even talk to me. She's completely iced me out, and I don't have the slightest idea of what to do. Tyler has texted me a few times, asking how I was, but I would usually ignore him and go about my daily activities (which consisted mostly of improving my skills in soccer). Tris and I never stopped talking.

We are going to meet up today, just to hang out and talk about a few things.

I carefully folded the poem I had in my hands and put it away in my desk drawer, where I knew I would find it later, if I needed to.

I already took a shower, and dressed myself in a tightly fitting black tank top, with a small rainbow on it, and a pair of black jeans and grey Nike running shoes.

I opened the door to my room, and closed it behind me. Walking towards the front door, which was downstairs directly in front of the wooden staircase, I noticed someone in the kitchen, my mom, who seemed to be busy making dinner. This isn't normal, because dinner wasn't for another five hours. I delayed walking out the front door, and approached her instead, wanting to talk to her about a sensitive matter. I stopped right next to her by the island, where she was chopping some vegetables, and where she left the stoves on.