Heartless

30

I was so tired I didn't even dream. I felt free from the negative thoughts as I woke up, but immediately sat up once I realized Colby wasn't next to me. "Colby?" I said loudly, hoping he was just in another room. No response. I rubbed my eyes and reached for my phone,

Colby 🖤: hey babe I'm sorry I'm not there when you wake up, I had to run an errand really quick. I'll be back soon though, please call me if you need me ❤️

What errand would he need to be running in a place he has never been before? I shook my head and got up, I wasn't the jealous type, plus I trusted him fully so I couldn't think of any reason for him to lie to me.

I hopped in the shower and let the water burn my skin a little bit. I tried to not let my mind race as the water cascaded down my body. I was setting a goal today to not cry, I used to be so good at holding my tears in but ever since I met Colby it's been nearly impossible. I have never met someone who I trusted as much as I trust him. His presence alone calms me down like no other. However now that I was alone with my thoughts I was scared of what my mind would conjure up. My mother's face crept into my thoughts. The look that her face twisted to before she gave me a cold slap after 10 years of not seeing me. I tried to think of something else as my hands shook. I took a deep breathe, and finished my shower.

Once I was dressed I went out to the living room. Memories rushed back to me as I sat on the couch, hugging my knees. I took a deep breathe and sat on my phone. After about an hour of scrolling, the door opened and Colby walked in. He held a bouquet of flowers in his hand and a bag of what looked like food in his other hand. I stood up and pouted my lip as he handed me the flowers and kissed my cheek. "What is this for?" I said and smelled the flowers, "just because." He said and kissed my forehead, just then the door opened again. I tilted my head not knowing who was coming in.

"Kat! Sam!" I said and ran over to hug them. "What are you guys doing here?" I was in shock, "Colby thought you could use a little more support" Kat said with a small smile, "thank you for being here." I said as she pulled me into a hug, "you're my best friend! I can't let you go through this without me" I smiled and went to hug Sam, "we want to support you through this, everyone wanted to come but we thought that would be too many people" I laughed, "yeah that would have been a lot. But thank you so much. It means a lot that you guys would fly here for me." They both smiled back at me as Colby wrapped his arm around my waist. "We love you" Sam said and smiled. I couldn't believe they would do this for me, but we let them get situated as Colby unpacked the Chinese food he had brought for us.

"Isn't it a little early in the day for Chinese food?" I said with a laugh. "It's never too early for Chinese food" Colby said and took a bite of an egg roll. I rolled my eyes playfully as we sat on the couch with our food. Sam and Kat joined us as Colby looked for a movie to watch.

I didn't know whether I wanted to go to the hospital today or not. Dr. Richards said my dad wouldn't wake up, but I still felt like I had to sit there and just be there for him. "I think I'm gonna go to the hospital." I said quitely and stood up from the couch. The movie was finishing up, I didn't watch any of it. I can't concentrate right now. "Okay we can all go if you want." Colby said as he started to clean up the leftover Chinese food. "If you guys want to come for a little bit you can, I can show you some fun places afterwards." I knew we wouldn't have to stay long at the hospital but I still just had to go. "Sounds good we will get ready" Kat said and they went to the guest room. I walked into my bedroom and sat on the bed, closing my eyes. I took a deep breath in as I heard Colby enter the room. "You okay?" He said and came up to me. "I'm okay" I said opening my eyes and giving him a reassuring smile, "I'm just trying to keep my head above water." He cupped my face gently and kissed me. "I'm proud of you. I know how hard this is for you but you're being so strong." He spoke softly as I held back tears. "I wouldn't be strong if it wasn't for you." I said and put my hand on his hand which was still on my cheek. We just stared at each other for a second, taking each other in. It was the most at peace I had been in a while. "Let's get ready." Colby whispered and kissed my forehead, before walking to his bag. I watched him as he sifted through it, choosing what to wear. I felt empty inside, my chest felt empty but the rest of my body felt so heavy. I took a deep breathe and got up, finally getting ready to go.

The car ride was short, Kat and Sam sat and talked in the back as Colby and I stayed silent up front. He knew I wouldn't be able to carry a conversation until I was in the hospital room. Something about the journey to the room really stressed me out, it was scary thinking something could have happened overnight. He held my hand as he drove, occasionally glancing over at me. I squeezed his hand gently, signaling to him that I was okay.

We got to the hospital and all walked to the room. I stopped when I saw a familiar figure standing in the room arguing with Dr. Richards. "You guys stay here." I mumbled and walked into the room before anyone could protest.

"What do you mean she said I shouldn't be a part of this?!" My mother viciously yelled. Just then her head snapped to me.

Her eyes full of rage.