My Deepest Thougts

In my head

Try so hard for things to change. Words to be spoken but never heard. All thoughts built up but never spoken. Cant help but be deep in my head over and over again. Sometimes its better to sleep to forget but once i wake its like they come back. Bad thoughts that over rule the good. Every song makes it worse but some make it better. Dancing to forget but when the quiet comes back its like they come back. So deafining and so loud that i cant hear anything else. Food doesnt taste the same so i stop eating all together. Showers dont feel the same bc theres no energy being put behind it at all but i always force myself to take them to stay clean. Hair is always a mess bc i dont feel like it matters anymore. I always tell myself that itll be fine but i feel like it wont ever be ok but that doesnt matter anymore. Im slowly losing faith in things but its alright bc the darkness envelopes me slowly like a blanket warm and familiar. Eventually tho i know that ill be ok again. I hope thats soon though. Maybe. Just maybe....