PHAN: Suicidal

The Talk

Dan realised he was gunna get even less sleep trying to hide from it all. It was around 6 am when he decided that he needed to go home, even though that didn’t help much. He collected his things, putting them back into his bag and walked into their living room. He wrote PJ and Chris a note of thanks, and explaining his sudden departure, before setting off on a chilly walk home.

Phil awoke at the sound of keys in the front door, and checked his clock. 6:30? It couldn’t be Dan at this time… Maybe Jess had forgotten something for work. He groggily called out to the unknown person, hoping for a reply.  “Pretend I’m not here” came the sad, but monotonal response.

Dan walked into to flat, dropping his keys in the bowl and his bag by the door. He headed towards his room, head down to avoid seeing anything he didn’t want to, and walked straight into a topless, sleepy Phil. He instantly felt Phil’s arms around him and pushed him away, without even glancing upwards. He looked at him after that, and instantly regretted it after seeing the hurt look on Phil’s face.

“Why did you-?”
“If she sees, she’ll probably murder me!” He said in a slightly raised, sarcastic tone.
“She’s at work.” Phil replied, plainly.
“Oh.” That was all Dan could manage, but at that moment a great relief came over him. At least he had Phil to himself for a few hours. Maybe it would be okay that way. Not the same, but, bearable. He would avoid the topic of Jess at all costs though, at least he would try to; he hoped Phil wouldn’t bring it up at all.

He sat on the sofa, followed by Phil. He leant forward to grab the TV remote, but was stopped by Phil straight away. Oh, looks like a serious conversation was about to happen. No doubt about the one thing he was trying to ignore, Jess.

“Look, Dan, I see why you’re upset.” No, you don’t. “I get that, as a friend, you’re jealous of the amount of time I’m spending with Jess!” As a friend. “I want you to understand that I do, honestly, really like her.” Her. “I’m honestly so happy with her, she makes me so happy.” You were happy before. “But I hate seeing you sad, and angry, and your video made me upset.” You’re upset? “I want you to know that nothing had changed between us.” Nothing. “You’re still my best friend!” Friend.

He knew Phil was trying to brighten his mood but it honestly made him feel 100% worse. All he knew now was that he had to delete that video, if it had hurt Phil. He knew he had to deal with Jess until she fucked something up, then Phil would be his again, hopefully.