CPR

40

Aaliyah
Last night I decided to stay over Ivy's house per her request. She didn't want me to be alone and neither did I. Most of the night I cried and just looked at the walls. Thoughts about if I wasn't good enough or if I could've done something to prevent this flooded my mind.

I looked at the little clock Ivy had on the wall in her guest room and decided to get up and go home. I threw my hoodie and socks on from last night and slipped on my shoes.

I quietly walked out of the room and closed the door. It was still early in the morning so I didn't want to wake Ivy up. I made sure I locked her door on the way out and took the elevator down to the parking lot.

I started my car and drove home while my mind started to wonder to what happened again. I couldn't even begin to come up with an explanation on how I felt. One thing I did know is I needed to get far away from everyone.
                                        •••
I walked inside my condo and dragged my feet as I walked into my bedroom. I plugged up my phone and started getting a bath ready for me. I tend to either sleep or take a bath when I was feeling sad but I knew I wasn't going to be able to sleep. I kept my hair in the messy state it was and got out of my clothes stepping inside the warm water.

It seemed like I had so much good going for me but at the same time I had so much bad put up against me. Carti was supposed to me my safe haven and now I wanted to stay far away from him. I had so many questions about him and our relationship that wouldn't stop running through my mind.

How could he fold on me like this when things got tough?

Did he lie to me when I found that condom on his bag?

Has he been cheating on me and was I too blind to see it?

Has he been sleeping with other women and did he sleep with any of those women he invited over?

Did he still have love for Rubi and was I just a rebound?

"Stop it Aaliyah." I said shutting my eyes as I tried to stop myself from thinking.

I submerged my body deeper into the water and wiped my face as I started crying again.
•••
I heard my phone ding multiple times and rolled my eyes feeling irritation. I wanted to be left alone and didn't want to talk to anyone. The person I needed the most right now couldn't even freely pick up the phone and call me. He was also the last person I wanted to talk to at the same time because now he would have to hear how his best friend broke his baby sisters heart.

I started to drain the water and I turned on the shower washing up quickly before finally getting out of the tub. I dried off my body and threw on my black satin robe walking back to my bed. I sat on the edge of my bed and sighed hearing my phone ding once again. I snatched my phone off of the charger and unlocked it checking my notifications. I seen multiple texts and calls from Carti and rolled my eyes opening the thread.

Li? - 7:36am
I'm sorry Aaliyah, please call me - 7:37am
I love u like crazy -7:39am
I'm obsessed wit u - 7:40am
Love u forever - 7:40am
Can u please answer my calls? - 7:45am

I rolled my eyes and exited the thread plugging my phone back up. I made my way to the kitchen and opened the fridge looking at what I had. After realizing I didn't have much of an appetite I closed both of the doors.

I heard knocking on my door and stopped dead in my tracks. I looked at the door as the knocking began again. I sighed going to the door and took a breath.