Chapter Twenty-Seven

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General Kendra Eppie didn't become "The Node's right-hand-man" (an odd description as the Node didn't have a conventional "hand", and when he did have one, he was a leftie) overnight. It took so many years that The Node couldn't even remember how it had happened.

He hadn't been looking for a general for his army of Node Guards, nor was Eppie ever officially appointed to the role of general.  He had merely started calling himself that. 

The Node himself, actually thought "General" was his first name, and that Ken was a bland nickname school chums called him back when he was but a young lad on whatever planet he was from that no longer existed. It was as if Eppie had always just been there. 

Eppie did remember, however. He remembered every detail of his life and wrote every triviality, every encounter, and even every dream into his journal. A journal he was hoping to publish one day under the title "This Is Why I Hate You! – A Very Long Memoir". 

There were never issues with trust between them, either. Eppie had given himself to The Node completely. He took great pride in his loyalty. 

When he was finally rescued by guards and untied from the chair, he didn't think there would be any issues. Even when the huge complex that was once Lyme Node's prison (and was now a very large, and very fast spaceship) rumbled away from its concrete footing, he didn't think his loyalty would be questioned. Even with the earthquake it caused, every ship alarm going off and the clock on every microwave oven resetting itself to a flashing 12:00 for over two-thousand blocks.

The Node, however, was still reeling over Vrume T'cha T'cha's betrayal, and his feelings, as sickening as they were, were hurt. His grotesquely humungous (but extremely fragile) ego was damaged. When Eppie came in to see him, he was already at a boiling point.

"You! You are in on this! You conspired with the traitor T'cha T'cha!" The Node yelled, jarring Eppie so badly that the General's back started spasming.

"What? What? I—What?? Eppie twisted, stammered and spat.

"Don't play idiot with me, General Eppie. If your real name is, in fact, General. I will fillet you alive! Not another word!!"

They both stared at each other for what seemed an eternity.

"Ok fine! Say another word! But make it a good word!!!" The Node shouted, electronically amplifying his voice through the PA system in his armoured suit.

"I looooooathe Vrume T'cha T'cha. I don't even like saying his ridiculous name! T'cha T'cha. T'cha T'cha. Vruuuuuuuuuuume T'cha T'cha...sounds like the name of the entire rhythm section of a band only people who vacation on cruise ships listen to. The name T'cha T'cha is like chicken kababs being hammered into my ear drums! The name T'cha--"

"WHY DO YOU KEEP SAYING IT THEN??" The Node interrupted so loudly it felt like chicken kababs were being hammered into Eppie's ears. 

"Just making a point, sir. It would seem there are traitors everywhere, and you are so very wise to question, but I assure you I am as loyal as loyal can possibly be. I am so loyal that I barely exist as a separate person!"

"And?"

"Aaaaand...?"

"You said I was wise. What else am I??"

"Uh. Intelligent? So very intelligent. Smartest thing in the universe!"

"And?"

"Gorgeous?"

"There it is. Ok. This is how you are going to prove yourself. You are going to head up a battalion of as many guard war ships as we can spare, and you are going to go and blow that prison to space dust. I want them all dead. Then you are going to capture the Quarol and bring him home to me. If you don't complete this mission, don't bother coming home."

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