I Don't Seem So Bright in a Well-Lit Room

Chapter Thirty-Two

Other than The Node, Vrume T'cha T'cha wanted nothing more than to have General Kendra Eppie be the last life he ever had to take on his mission to save the universe. 

He stared at the lifeless open eyes, and the twisted look on Eppie's stupid face, feeling a little shame. Not only for killing his long-time foe, but for all the lives he had taken. From the Squambogian kazoo snail he accidentally stepped on over a million years ago, to the not-entirely-ugly Sammolite he had recently murdered. It was all feeling so pointless. 

When Teeg's voice came over the communicator informing him they had docked to the Bad News Bearer to rescue him, he took his finger off the ship's self-destruct button. There were still Node Guards on the ship, and perhaps some surviving Quarol clones. Though it would tie things up neatly and get rid of a powerful enemy ship if he pressed the button, he just couldn't do it. Not anymore. Not again.

Instead he coughed up his Eppie-like impression again and announced to the ship, "All Node Guards are to stop fighting at once. All Quarols are to stop fighting with them as well and come to the bridge for evacuation. Once the Quarols are evacuated, the remaining guards are to take the ship back to Lyme Node and await further instruction. Oh, and I'm sorry for being such a jerk-wad. I love you. That is all."

Soon Vrume and the remaining twenty-seven clones found themselves on the now-crowded Shiv. If the lone Aye clone had survived, he was now wandering around the Bad News Bearer in search of drink and sex, both of which a lonely guard may have given him.

Vrume soon stood on the bridge of the Shiv with Teeg, Gekko, Clory, Potto and a still-sleeping Aye. No one knew what to say. There was a general feeling of both surprise (that they had survived the previous onslaught), and the rather lost feeling of "What-do-we-do-next?"

It was Knutt that broke the uneasy silence.

"Hey, Cap'n...do you remember that piece of garbage that had attached itself to the hull? The one that we thought was not worth the resources to pillage or give a second thought to?"

"What about it? Is it still there?" Teeg asked. She sounded exhausted. She was exhausted.

"It's not that it is 'still there', it's more like 'it's back'."

"Back? How can--?" she started before Knutt cut her off.

"Two life forms just exited the debris and are now on the ship. Clover and some...uh...I don't know...walking meat-thing in a hat?"

~~~

It often felt like a major imposition to get called into work to cover the shift of a sick or absent co-worker. Even more so to a teenager making minimum wage and having to call off a date because the co-worker had suddenly quit and walked off the job. 

Brian Puff was not happy. He was on a date with Shabby Mailman, and he was finally going to make his move. What was supposed to be the night he lost his virginity, was now a night of stacking jugs of very unsexy jetsam oil. 

When he arrived, he was surprised to see half of the Vexian fuelling station destroyed by fire. The fire department had finally put it out, but the sight was still quite crazy to behold. Though not so crazy that it made up for his lost chance to see someone (other than his gross parents) naked. 

As he tidied up the display of questionable oil and grease, the wind started blowing, nearly knocking him over. He ran into his kiosk and watched the biggest ship he had ever seen lower itself over the station. It was a Node warship. He had only ever seen one on television, and never one this huge. 

It was too big to land properly. As it hovered over the station, it lowered a long girthy hose. A Node Guard slid down the hose like a fireman down an oddly thick fire pole. He connected the hose to a fuel receptacle.