Finding Meaning

Chapter 21

The next day, it was back to work. Literally. Jon had to go to work but, ultimately, decided not to go because "Fuck work." Plus, after flipping off his boss, he probably didn't have a job anymore. As for his other job, "Fuck work."

Hadasaphorus and Jon, who finally had his phone with him, sat by their phones the whole day. If they were being honest, they didn't expect any calls. Or, at least any callers to stay on the line after the words, "We don't actually have a missing dog." were said. But they did and, as if by some miracle from definitely-not-God, they got 50-some callers who all were interested in joining a cult. Although, it should be mentioned that nothing about suicide was mentioned in the phone call.

After gathering in the woods, setting up a campfire and s'mores, Hadasaphorus stood up.

Still crunching on his s'more, he stood up and nonchalantly asked, "So, who's ready to die now."

Surprisingly, only one guy responded. "Wait, what?"

"Don't tell anyone, but this is a suicide cult. I have to explain some things."

So, Hadasaphorus went on about Neoskizzle and blue and the end of life. At the end of his whole spiel, he had about half convinced of his story. The other half agreed to stay silent about this given they get an extra s'more. That seemed reasonable enough, so 20 minutes and 25 s'mores later, it was time for business.

Hadasaphorus then prepared shots of the elixir he prepared, which was literally just flavored water mixed with rat poison and toxic glue. Unfortunately for our cult followers, no amount of water flavor packets or s'mores could get rid of the disgusting taste that was the elixir. One of the cult followers tried it and clenched his face in disgust; the others followed and didn't flinch at the disgusting taste. There were even a few "Cheers" and "See you on the other sides."

Hadasaphorus also prepared himself an elixir, just for fun. He now knew couldn't die, so there was no risk. Besides, he wanted to seem like he was the actual cult leader and not just getting people to kill themselves for his own amusement.

One by one, the group fell, splattered, dropped, toppled, and tumbled onto the floor, breathless and dead.

Hadasaphorus took his shot. Then suddenly he realized that Jon was nowhere to be found. He looked at the dead bodies and Jon was not among them. This relieved Hadasaphorus, but only for a moment until he began thinking the worst.

Maybe he did kill himself. But I swear he was with me in the car? Was he? Did I convince him to kill himself? Oh my God, I convinced all those people to kill themselves. I'm a bad person. I'm like Death for suicide. What's wrong with me? It's okay, maybe Jon's just at home. Maybe he decided to go to work, after all. No, no! He's not okay! He's dead. And it's my fault. All of this is my fault.