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"ITHOUGHT IT was due today?" Taehyung asked me, furrowing his eyebrows as he gripped his backpack strap.
I shrugged, glancing at him as I grabbed my books from my locker, "I thought so too but he put an extension on the assignment last minute - so now it's due on Friday."
Taehyung pouted at my response, displeased. The corner of my lips twitched, holding back a smile that threatened to appear at how cute he looked. I shut my locker softly, zipping my bag before throwing it over my shoulder. I glanced up at him before we walked down the corridor.
He reached over, grabbing my left earphone before placing it into his ear. I scrolled through my phone, trying to pick a good song, pretending to be unfazed by the action. My heart increased its pulse, my eyes frantic on my phone. Even though he's done this multiple times before, it never stopped my heart from skipping a beat. I picked a good song, shutting off my phone before raising the volume.
We turned the corner, walking down the hallway side by side. Our shoulders grazed from time to time, sending chills through my body. He glanced down at me, "Do you have practice today?"
I shook my head, "No. Coach is out sick for the whole week, so we won't have practice until she comes back."
"Good. I'll walk home with you."
I crossed my arms over my chest, a habit I do whilst I walk. I furrowed my eyebrows at him, "But weren't you supposed to walk home with Miyeon?"
He stuffed his hands in his pocket, "She's trying out for soccer today so she's getting a ride home."
I gave a small nod, quiet after his response. To be honest, I was shocked. Ever since the beach trip and the two of them became a couple, he hasn't walked home with me. He either walks home with her or they spend the afternoon together. A part of me felt guilty that I enjoyed him being with me instead of with Miyeon. Walking home without him felt empty and I missed when that emptiness was filled.
We entered the lunchroom, hearing the laughs and conversations that erupted from various tables. The lunch line was long, most students growing impatient. Some walked to and fro, jumping from different tables. Taehyung quickly spotted our friends, motioning me to follow him. Our table came closer into view, my friends vaguely seen. Jieun noticed us, smiling at our arrival.
I followed Taehyung's gaze, noticing his eyes were directly onto the girl beside Hoseok. Miyeon turned her head, grinning at Taehyung. We reached the table as I turned off my music, Taehyung pulling the earbud out of his ear. I sat in between Jungkook and Jieun, smoothing out the surface of my skirt uniform. I looked up, watching Taehyung sit close beside Miyeon, snaking a hand around her waist. He pecked her temple before stealing one of her french fries. My throat grew dry, my lips forming into a small frown.
As soon as we sat, the table broke into immediate conversation. I chewed my carrots, listening to my friends in silence. My eyes would glance over to Miyeon and Taehyung, how secluded the two were. It was as if they were in their own world - their gazes only on each other.
After the beach trip, I've always felt uncomfortable around the two. My strong refusal to tell Taehyung my feelings that morning was practically swept under the rug. We completely ignored it, going back to normal. Yet I never considered it normal. No matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't go back to the way things were before Miyeon moved here or even before I had a crush on him. Seeing the two together formed this large, gaping pit in my chest. It was pure agony and it hurt to endure. I'm beyond thrilled for him, believe me. I'd be lying if I said I didn't still love him and knowing that I still did tormented me. I shouldn't, but I couldn't get over him. It's infuriating - the amount of distress it causes me. No matter how hard I try, there's no avail.
I picked at my food, my fork brushing against the singular grains of rice. The sounds of laughter pulled me out of my thoughts. I looked up, seeing Miyeon scrolling through her phone. A smile formed on her lips as she nudged Taehyung. He glanced over, staring at her phone. Soon after, the two started to laugh, pure ecstasy in their eyes. My heart pulled at the sight, my breathing started to palpitate.
There was no way I could hide it.
I quickly packed my stuff, my hands shaking with every motion. My movements were sloppy and rushed, managing to use every ounce of strength left in my body to stand. All eyes looked at me, confused as to why I stood.
"Hey, you okay?" Jieun spoke up, concern laced in her tone.
I nodded, giving her a fake smile, "Yeah, I'm just going to class early."
Namjoon furrowed his eyebrows at me, "How come? We still have 10 minutes left."
"I need to hand in my essay-" I paused, trying to figure out a plausible lie, "for Literature. Mrs. Park gave me extra time on it and I told her I'd hand it to her at lunch."
I glanced around the table, noticing everyone's expressions. Their faces, that once were concerned, were now coated with relief. I peeked over at Taehyung, who stared at me with an unreadable expression. I couldn't tell if he believed me or not, but I avoided his piercing gaze.
Jungkook was the first to speak up, flashing me a small smile, "Okay, see you in class."
I nodded, smiling back at him. The others bid me goodbye, going back to their conversation once I left. I plugged my earbuds into my ears, allowing the music to blare into my head. I crumbled my brown paper bag, throwing it in a nearby garbage. I didn't bother turning around, my fear of seeing the two getting the best of me.
I walked down the empty hallways, my pace slow. I didn't expect them to believe me so I didn't have an exact plan on where I would go. I turned the corridor to find an empty classroom. The desks were neatly aligned in long rows, contrasting to the mess in the classroom. Various papers were spread around the ground, as the windows were pushed open.
I walked over to the back of the class, making my way to the corner seat nearest the window. I sat down, pulling my chair in as I set my backpack on the ground. I stared out the window, watching the distant town ahead.
My heart twisted at the sight of them together. Every moment I was around them was suffocating. I couldn't hide anything anymore, the facade I've been trying to build hopelessly failing. As much as I smiled and watched it all, I can't lie and say I felt happy after it all. I leaned forward in my chair, placing my head into my folded arms. I tried to steady my trembling breath, my eyes feeling hot.
The mask I made was crumbling and realizing that made me feel hopeless.
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"You can close your eyes to things you don't want to see, but you can't close your heart to things you don't want to feel."
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chapter sixteen!!
i skipped right to school a couple days after the beach trip since i couldn't think of anything else to put.
im sorry for this awful, filler chapter. but the next few chapters are just going to be Yoomi and how she plans to cope with her emotions
