The Man with no Heart (Tony Stark) - ON HOLD

What am I?

If you ever asked me who am I, my answer would probably be “You know who I am”. But, oh, that is a horrible start.

Of course you would never ask me who I am.  

All my life, I don’t think I was ever asked that, actually.

Instead, I grew up a lot more familiar with the question: Aren’t you Tony Stark?

Hell, yeah.

That’s me.

The genius billionaire playboy philanthropist. Son of the famous Howard Stark, a genius billionaire playboy, himself.

Me.

The boy who was destined to great doings from the start.

Gosh, that makes me sound like Jesus Christ.

That is such a moving version, is it not?

Well, I will not disagree I had potential. There was no way I could, obviously, run away from my genes.

It is not by chance I grew up with a similar behavior to my father’s.

No. We are similar, in some way. Very much, indeed.

That is why I know, perfectly, I was never planned.

I was… just an accident.

My father was too busy with his work and business to have time to worry about a child, was he not?

I would be, too. Probably.

“Daddy! Look! It moves! Can you help me make it fly, daddy?!” a six year old grabbed me grabbed his father’s leg

“Tony, do it yourself, I am busy now.”

The small version of me walked through the huge living room, back to a small workshop.

“And do not enter my workshop!” Stark’s voice was heard after the man filled his cup of whiskey.

Yeah.

That was basically the same scenario ever since I can remember.

“Dad? Could you sign my test?” A ten year old me internally squealed in excitement as the older man grabbed the test classified as an A, anxious to see his reaction.

Instead, the boy was presented with a blanket expression and, before he knew it, the test was abruptly handed back to him.

“And you could improve your engine” He spoke after he stood up

And I did.

Every day I fought to impress him. To get a compliment from him.

Maybe I even surpassed his expectations.

But such words were never spoken.

As to my mother, she was not like that.

She was really caring and concerned, even though she was rarely home. She would come to me, compliment me and take me out.

Oh, yes.

I can count with my own fingers the number of times I left the house during my childhood.

My social life was reduced to robots and, later, Jarvis.

I had no idea how to deal with people.

Eh, I had no idea how hard it was to live.

“Tony!”

A twelve year old me showed a big smile when Obadiah Stane paid a visit, around Christmas time.

“Obie!” The older man allowed a hug, as he always did.

“So proud of you kid!” he messed with my hair “You built a bloody engine at that age! You know how famous you are now?!”

I know I had no idea what was the whole deal behind it.

Particularly for Obadiah: money.

But for me, it was just someone complimenting me, telling me nice words.

Despite all the things that man revealed himself to be, he was still one of the persons that lightened my childhood.  

You know how I am now.

It is not a secret to anyone.

I can very easily be the most annoying person in a room, to anyone.

Mostly guys.

Women always had a thing for me.

Self-centered?

Narcissist?

Well, maybe.

It is part of me.

But maybe, that is not me entirely.

No…

Maybe I just learned things the hard way.

I stopped being naïve a very long time ago.

“Sir, Mr. Stark is requiring your presence in the living room”

A fifteen year old me thought his ears had failed him

“My father?”

“Yes, sir”

I ran upstairs, eagerly and excitedly.

Howard Stark NEVER required my presence, in ANY place.

“You called for me?” he was sitting on the living room, with his drink in his hand. My mother sitting next to him, looking beautiful as she always did.

“You got into MIT”

My eyes widened.

I have always wanted that.

I was fifteen. I know I would be the youngest kid graduating.

Maybe I was still hoping for a nice word. But the lack of those did not affect me that much, already.

“Congratulations, Tony” my mother approached to hug me tight “So proud of you!” she kissed my cheek

“They have a room for you” Stark spoke again.

And my heart broke into million pieces.

That was his chance to get rid of me.

A lot changed since then.

I learned a lot.

Me, the fifteen year old boy with no social life was going to a MIT college, suddenly getting surrounded with people.

But, maybe, that resulted in what I am today.

Hello everyone!

I have decided to start something different.

I have always felt reticent in writting a Tony Stark book, but I decided to give it a try.

I will update whenever I have the time to, only if you guys like it.

Please give me your thoughts.

Love,

Carly*