After Namjoon had gone to eat, Jungkook was alone. Which was the perfect time for him to start his note.
hurry up you piece of shit.
Jungkook sighed and got his notebook. This was always going to be the hardest part.
He turned to the first blank page he saw and stared at it for a few seconds, before starting to write his note.
One last goodbye to his hyungs.
He wrote a message to each of them individually, and then one final message to them all.
By the end of writing it, he was in tears.
He needed to think of where to hide the note, who he wanted to find it first, that would be hard. None of the members would be finding it until he was dead, as they usually took a long time to eat and talk in the kitchen.
So he was safe.
Jungkook decided to leave it on his bed. Even if the members did go into their rooms, they wouldn't be noticing anything on Jungkook's bed, they probably wouldn't even go into his bedroom.
Well..
Not until he was dead.
And by then it wouldn't matter.
hurry up
just get on with it
So Jungkook walked into the bathroom, closed the door and got some of his blades. He filled up the bathtub, and sat on the edge of it as he did so.
Then he looked down at the clear water,
it'll be red soon.
He took off his hoodie,
And he got into the bathtub, with the rest of his clothes on, the warm water soaking them instantly.
you deserve this.
you deserve to feel pain everyday.
you're worthless.
you ruin everything for everyone.
and that will only stop when you kill yourself.
when you're out of this world.
so go on, you're doing everyone a favour, including yourself.
do it.
do it now.
what's the point in wasting more time? you'll just make this harder.
Jungkook took a deep breath, the voice was right of course. He needed to get it over with.
He looked down at the blade in his hands, and then at his arms, which were littered with fresh cuts and old scars.
He closed his eyes for a minute, happier now he knew he was almost at peace, but sad that he'd be leaving the people he loved behind.
His hyungs, Namjoon.
No, he couldn't think about them now. He couldn't think about Namjoon, it would just make this more painful.
So instead he remembered the distant memories of his childhood, when he was truly happy. It was such a long time ago, and he longed to be happy again.
and you will be, once you've done this.
Jungkook opened his eyes.
He was ready.
He held his blade against his left wrist and dragged it across his skin, as deep as he could. It hurt like hell, but it would be over soon.
He then did the same to his right wrist, and closed his eyes again.
He'd been waiting for this moment for a long time.
He felt so much more peaceful than he had ever felt, despite the terrible pain coming from his wrists.
He started to get tired.
It was happening.
He could faintly hear a lot of banging sounds and then some screams, before he felt himself drift away.
YOU ARE READING
I'm Fine | Depressed Jungkook x BTS
Fanfiction"I'm fine" He said quietly. "No Kookie, you're not." TW: This story will contain self harm, suicidal thoughts, mentions of eating disorders, anxiety, depression etc etc. There will be graphic parts.
