Tear In My Heart

Chapter Five

Warnings: Angst

Word Count: 2449

Author's Note: Enjoy the chapter! :)

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September 2014 - Beginning of the Quiet is Violent Tour

"This is so sick!" a loud voice erupted that was soon discovered to be Tyler, from the back of the new bus that they had recently acquired for touring. Everyone was still in awe of all that was happening for Twenty One Pilots after signing with Fueled by Ramen and knew that it was about to blow up. This tour would be the deciding factor. Laughing a bit at the happy boy in front of you, you looked over and saw Josh who was being uncharacteristically quiet as he looked around the main area of the bus. The look on his face was unreadable and so you decided to ask about it.

Just as you turned to speak, Tyler came jumping in and wrapped his arm around Josh while bouncing up and down excitedly, which made a small smirk appear on his lips to appease his friend.

"I need to go and get some Taco Bell to celebrate! Anyone want me to bring back anything?" Tyler exclaimed and looked between the both of you with a wide smile.

"I'm okay, Ty. You go get enough tacos to make your heart happy." You shook your head playfully and then Tyler's attention turned back to Josh.

"You know what I like," Josh replied.

"Obviously," Tyler nodded and darted out of the bus.

Now... it was just you and Josh alone. Sighing deeply, you watched as he collapsed onto the couch and looked anywhere but at you. Was he avoiding you? Brows furrowing, you walked over and then sat beside him on the couch, leaving a little space between your bodies.

"Hey. Are you ok? You don't seem like you're quite yourself. I was expecting you to be just as excited as Tyler was." You looked over his face as you spoke, noticing that he was taking in what you were saying.

"I'm... nervous. With all of this. Since we've signed, we've had more publicity than we've ever had. I don't know how I'm going to be able to handle this, Y/N," he spilled out his true feelings about the situation to you and you had to admit that you weren't really expecting him to be this open. But, it had always seemed so natural with the both of you.

"Josh, this all is a good thing for your band. I know that you've had some problems dealing with anxiety in the past, but people love you guys. You and your music means something to them or else they wouldn't be supporting you. They wouldn't be coming to see you play on that stage for your tour." You tried your hardest to make him feel better, but knew that it was hard to convince someone who was so terrified of being the center of attention that playing in front of quite a bit more fans would be ok. What did you know? You were just a manager.

He didn't speak for a bit of time and then finally let out a shaky breath after what had seemed like forever. You frowned a bit and then wrapped your arms around him tightly, bringing him into your side and resting your head on his shoulder.

"You'll be ok, Josh. I promise," you whispered. His body seemed a bit tense at first, like he wasn't sure what to do with what you were doing, but he slowly relaxed and wrapped his arms back around you. His head laid on top of yours and you could've sworn that he had just smelled your hair, but you brushed it off. Closing your eyes, you relaxed against him for a bit and just held him, enjoying how wonderfully your bodies fit together. But then, at the worst possible moment, Beau re-entered your mind, instantly making you feel terrible about what you were doing and now you were painfully aware of how close you were to Josh.